.jpg "TEAM: Probot")
25 + 86 points
Create Art "Under the Influence" by teucer
February 19th, 2009 9:18 AM
I can't draw.
Certain other artistic endeavors are not entirely beyond me, but I can't draw.
1. Sleep Deprivation
I decided to pull an all-nighter for this task. Unfortunately I pulled it in front of my computer, playing stupid puzzle games and chatting with people on Skype. When everyone on Skype went to bed, I made the mistake of reading a novel.
I woke up about three hours later with my face on a book.
So I decided to try again the next night. I did this one away from such easy-to-sleep-on surfaces as books and keyboards, and instead played a mildly excessive amount of solitaire Volcano - a game, normally for two players, that is played using Icehouse pieces, which are pointy and hurt if you try to sleep on them.
Around six thirty in the morning, I drew a picture and went to sleep. I think the pyramids may have influenced my art a bit.
2. Caffeine
I'm a bit of a hardhead when it comes to caffeine.
But I found myself leaving a Barnes and Noble on a brisk winter day with an Eggnog Latte in my hand and decided caffeine would be an interesting choice of influence. So on my way home I purchased half a dozen cans of vanilla-flavored Starbucks Energy+Coffee and began to chug them. After three cans, I was mildly nauseous from all the sugar and other beverage ingredients. But hey, at least I had a lot of caffeine in my system, right?
Next, I brewed a triple-size mug full of strong black tea and drank that, because it has caffeine but (in this case) no sugar to increase my feeling of nausea. And after finishing that, the results:
That's right. A large latte, three cans of energy drink, and about three cups worth of tea in the space of about ninety minutes were not enough to get me buzzed. No noticeable influence at all, so no art.
3. Alcohol
On a subsequent evening I had a beer. Then a double old fashioned. Actually it might have been a little more than double. I'm not really sure. Normally, three drinks is the point at which I first start to have even slight effects from the alcohol rather than not having any that I can observe at all - but then, I don't usually drink on an empty stomach, and I hadn't eaten much for dinner that night.
I'll let the chat transcripts explain how that went.
[1/4/2009 11:38:27 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Skypers: what should I draw this evening?
[1/4/2009 11:39:02 PM] JJason says: a duck!
[1/4/2009 11:39:06 PM] JJason says: on a boat!
[1/4/2009 11:39:08 PM] JJason says: eating naan!
[1/4/2009 11:39:12 PM] JJason says: with Henry Kissenger!
[1/4/2009 11:39:19 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: that sounds hard
[1/4/2009 11:39:19 PM] JJason says: while playing parcheesi!
[1/4/2009 11:39:27 PM] JJason says: and drawing a moose!
[1/4/2009 11:39:33 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I don't think I know how to draw parcheesi. or henry kissinger
[1/4/2009 11:39:38 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: and you already know mooses are not my forte
[1/4/2009 11:39:54 PM] JJason says: Well maybe they're not the duck's forte eitehr
[1/4/2009 11:40:03 PM] teucer, aka Dok, should have waited to ask until he was sufficiently influenced to think this was something he could draw.
[1/4/2009 11:40:55 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: don't worry though, that may come. I have a shot left in my gals and can get more if needed.
[1/4/2009 11:41:06 PM] JJason knows what he's going to write next time he plays eat puke you cat
[1/4/2009 11:41:18 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ...glass. dammit. this is working already.
[1/4/2009 11:41:36 PM] JJason says: I assumed "gals" was some sort of alchy slang
[1/4/2009 11:41:44 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: alchy?
[1/4/2009 11:41:55 PM] JJason says: or perhaps alky
[1/4/2009 11:41:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: like, you think I'm an alchemist and know their slang?
[1/4/2009 11:42:00 PM] JJason says: short for alchoholic
[1/4/2009 11:42:02 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ah
[1/4/2009 11:42:17 PM] teucer, aka Dok, likes his interpretation better
[1/4/2009 11:42:19 PM] JJason says: It is how the "kids" from the "street" refer to it
[1/4/2009 11:42:28 PM] JJason says: it is a form of "slang-talk"
[1/4/2009 11:42:51 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: anyhow, darkaardvark or levitating potato, do you feel like suggesting something?
[1/4/2009 11:43:19 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: or should I just draw a duck in a boat playing parcheesi with kissinger and drawing a moose.
[1/4/2009 11:43:28 PM] JJason says: eating naan.
[1/4/2009 11:43:31 PM] JJason says: That's important
[1/4/2009 11:43:41 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: oh, yeah, I totally forgot about the naan
[1/4/2009 11:43:44 PM] JJason says: Man, if I knew how to make naan I would have no problems in any part of my life
[1/4/2009 11:43:55 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I bet google knows how to make naan.
[1/4/2009 11:44:35 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: note to self
[1/4/2009 11:44:41 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: the five second rule does not apply to ice cubes
(Ed. note: it's about here that I finished my cocktail.)
[1/4/2009 11:45:33 PM] JJason says: Seriously though: ms paint adventures is really really weird
[1/4/2009 11:47:08 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: anyway unless dark unpends and suggests something else the duck wins
[1/4/2009 11:47:21 PM] JJason says: In the most recent page I've read, it is revelead that the candy mecha is located inside the dollhouse, which is on top of the candy mecha
[1/4/2009 11:47:27 PM] JJason says: I can suggest other, equally stupid things if you like
[1/4/2009 11:47:56 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: nah
[1/4/2009 11:47:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: duck is good
[1/4/2009 11:48:23 PM] JJason says: Oh...
[1/4/2009 11:48:25 PM] JJason says: ):
[1/4/2009 11:48:39 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: you don't like duck?
[1/4/2009 11:48:51 PM] JJason says: No, but I do like making bad suggestions
[1/4/2009 11:50:35 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ok, duck, nan, boat, kissinger, parcheesi
[1/4/2009 11:50:40 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: any other details I'm forgetting
[1/4/2009 11:50:49 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ?
[1/4/2009 11:50:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, scrolls up
[1/4/2009 11:51:12 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: oh! moose!
[1/4/2009 11:51:13 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: shit.
[1/4/2009 11:51:19 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I did not leave room for him to draw a moose.
[1/4/2009 11:51:21 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Hm.
[1/4/2009 11:53:36 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: OK
[1/4/2009 11:53:37 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: done
[1/4/2009 11:53:37 PM] JJason says: Have him drawing a very small, hard to see moose
[1/4/2009 11:53:40 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: yes.
[1/4/2009 11:53:46 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: although I can sort of tell that it has antlers
[1/4/2009 11:53:53 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: and for some reason I gave it a speech bubble
[1/4/2009 11:53:54 PM] JJason wants to see it!
[1/4/2009 11:53:57 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I blame my last moose attempt
[1/4/2009 11:53:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: You will
[1/4/2009 11:54:03 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: this is totally going in praxis.
[1/4/2009 11:54:10 PM] JJason wants to see it with delay!
[1/4/2009 11:54:21 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: along with sleep deprivation and caffeine.
[1/4/2009 11:54:30 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: there will also be trance, but so far that one hasn't been drawn yet
[1/4/2009 11:55:32 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: the moose drawing is sort of behind the duck
[1/4/2009 11:55:34 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: under its ass
[1/4/2009 11:55:41 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: but beind drawn with one of its feet
[1/4/2009 11:55:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: also I should totally copy and paste this convorsation into the praxis
[1/4/2009 11:56:17 PM] JJason says: I think it's an important part of the process, yes
[1/4/2009 11:57:24 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Hm. Do JJasonand alcohol count as two different influences
[1/4/2009 11:57:25 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ?
[1/4/2009 11:58:48 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Also, planets totally ought to have calling cards. That would be awesome
[1/4/2009 11:59:27 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Anyhow, I'm going to bet. Goodnight.
[1/4/2009 11:59:42 PM] JJason says: Sleep well
[12:00:04 AM] JJason says: Do not allow my bed mechabots trouble you as they steal your dreams
4. Sports
Ask any athlete, and they'll tell you there's nothing quite like the feeling of having just exercised. Some people call it a "runner's high" - and while it's not confined to running, the high is definitely real. Depending which researchers you believe, it comes from endorphins, or adrenalin, or anandamide, or some combination. Whatever the chemical details, I recently added a new way to get my fix:
After a few hours of running and jumping, I drew a picture in the state of neurochemical joy that followed. The quality is only slightly worse than what I'm normally capable of; really, it's just a frantically-drawn demonstration of my ordinary low level of talent. I would not regard athletic activity as a strong artistic influence.
5. Trance
I'm a very good hypnotic subject. And thanks to having a psychotherapist for a mother, from a very early age I've been able to do basic self-hypnosis. I currently favor the coin drop induction, depicted here.
Being near some of my art supplies led to an unexpected course of events. I'd made a rule for myself of doing all of these as sketches with pen or pencil on paper, because that was something I could do under most circumstances (although it did nix the sensory deprivation idea), including bringing a pad of paper to parkour practice with me. But while in trance, I drew a phoenix - and then I grabbed my vermillion pigment and went to work on the details. The result was way better than my normal output.
Certain other artistic endeavors are not entirely beyond me, but I can't draw.
1. Sleep Deprivation
I decided to pull an all-nighter for this task. Unfortunately I pulled it in front of my computer, playing stupid puzzle games and chatting with people on Skype. When everyone on Skype went to bed, I made the mistake of reading a novel.
I woke up about three hours later with my face on a book.
So I decided to try again the next night. I did this one away from such easy-to-sleep-on surfaces as books and keyboards, and instead played a mildly excessive amount of solitaire Volcano - a game, normally for two players, that is played using Icehouse pieces, which are pointy and hurt if you try to sleep on them.
Around six thirty in the morning, I drew a picture and went to sleep. I think the pyramids may have influenced my art a bit.
2. Caffeine
I'm a bit of a hardhead when it comes to caffeine.
But I found myself leaving a Barnes and Noble on a brisk winter day with an Eggnog Latte in my hand and decided caffeine would be an interesting choice of influence. So on my way home I purchased half a dozen cans of vanilla-flavored Starbucks Energy+Coffee and began to chug them. After three cans, I was mildly nauseous from all the sugar and other beverage ingredients. But hey, at least I had a lot of caffeine in my system, right?
Next, I brewed a triple-size mug full of strong black tea and drank that, because it has caffeine but (in this case) no sugar to increase my feeling of nausea. And after finishing that, the results:
That's right. A large latte, three cans of energy drink, and about three cups worth of tea in the space of about ninety minutes were not enough to get me buzzed. No noticeable influence at all, so no art.
3. Alcohol
On a subsequent evening I had a beer. Then a double old fashioned. Actually it might have been a little more than double. I'm not really sure. Normally, three drinks is the point at which I first start to have even slight effects from the alcohol rather than not having any that I can observe at all - but then, I don't usually drink on an empty stomach, and I hadn't eaten much for dinner that night.
I'll let the chat transcripts explain how that went.
[1/4/2009 11:38:27 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Skypers: what should I draw this evening?
[1/4/2009 11:39:02 PM] JJason says: a duck!
[1/4/2009 11:39:06 PM] JJason says: on a boat!
[1/4/2009 11:39:08 PM] JJason says: eating naan!
[1/4/2009 11:39:12 PM] JJason says: with Henry Kissenger!
[1/4/2009 11:39:19 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: that sounds hard
[1/4/2009 11:39:19 PM] JJason says: while playing parcheesi!
[1/4/2009 11:39:27 PM] JJason says: and drawing a moose!
[1/4/2009 11:39:33 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I don't think I know how to draw parcheesi. or henry kissinger
[1/4/2009 11:39:38 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: and you already know mooses are not my forte
[1/4/2009 11:39:54 PM] JJason says: Well maybe they're not the duck's forte eitehr
[1/4/2009 11:40:03 PM] teucer, aka Dok, should have waited to ask until he was sufficiently influenced to think this was something he could draw.
[1/4/2009 11:40:55 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: don't worry though, that may come. I have a shot left in my gals and can get more if needed.
[1/4/2009 11:41:06 PM] JJason knows what he's going to write next time he plays eat puke you cat
[1/4/2009 11:41:18 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ...glass. dammit. this is working already.
[1/4/2009 11:41:36 PM] JJason says: I assumed "gals" was some sort of alchy slang
[1/4/2009 11:41:44 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: alchy?
[1/4/2009 11:41:55 PM] JJason says: or perhaps alky
[1/4/2009 11:41:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: like, you think I'm an alchemist and know their slang?
[1/4/2009 11:42:00 PM] JJason says: short for alchoholic
[1/4/2009 11:42:02 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ah
[1/4/2009 11:42:17 PM] teucer, aka Dok, likes his interpretation better
[1/4/2009 11:42:19 PM] JJason says: It is how the "kids" from the "street" refer to it
[1/4/2009 11:42:28 PM] JJason says: it is a form of "slang-talk"
[1/4/2009 11:42:51 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: anyhow, darkaardvark or levitating potato, do you feel like suggesting something?
[1/4/2009 11:43:19 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: or should I just draw a duck in a boat playing parcheesi with kissinger and drawing a moose.
[1/4/2009 11:43:28 PM] JJason says: eating naan.
[1/4/2009 11:43:31 PM] JJason says: That's important
[1/4/2009 11:43:41 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: oh, yeah, I totally forgot about the naan
[1/4/2009 11:43:44 PM] JJason says: Man, if I knew how to make naan I would have no problems in any part of my life
[1/4/2009 11:43:55 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I bet google knows how to make naan.
[1/4/2009 11:44:35 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: note to self
[1/4/2009 11:44:41 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: the five second rule does not apply to ice cubes
(Ed. note: it's about here that I finished my cocktail.)
[1/4/2009 11:45:33 PM] JJason says: Seriously though: ms paint adventures is really really weird
[1/4/2009 11:47:08 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: anyway unless dark unpends and suggests something else the duck wins
[1/4/2009 11:47:21 PM] JJason says: In the most recent page I've read, it is revelead that the candy mecha is located inside the dollhouse, which is on top of the candy mecha
[1/4/2009 11:47:27 PM] JJason says: I can suggest other, equally stupid things if you like
[1/4/2009 11:47:56 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: nah
[1/4/2009 11:47:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: duck is good
[1/4/2009 11:48:23 PM] JJason says: Oh...
[1/4/2009 11:48:25 PM] JJason says: ):
[1/4/2009 11:48:39 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: you don't like duck?
[1/4/2009 11:48:51 PM] JJason says: No, but I do like making bad suggestions
[1/4/2009 11:50:35 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ok, duck, nan, boat, kissinger, parcheesi
[1/4/2009 11:50:40 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: any other details I'm forgetting
[1/4/2009 11:50:49 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ?
[1/4/2009 11:50:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, scrolls up
[1/4/2009 11:51:12 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: oh! moose!
[1/4/2009 11:51:13 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: shit.
[1/4/2009 11:51:19 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I did not leave room for him to draw a moose.
[1/4/2009 11:51:21 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Hm.
[1/4/2009 11:53:36 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: OK
[1/4/2009 11:53:37 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: done
[1/4/2009 11:53:37 PM] JJason says: Have him drawing a very small, hard to see moose
[1/4/2009 11:53:40 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: yes.
[1/4/2009 11:53:46 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: although I can sort of tell that it has antlers
[1/4/2009 11:53:53 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: and for some reason I gave it a speech bubble
[1/4/2009 11:53:54 PM] JJason wants to see it!
[1/4/2009 11:53:57 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: I blame my last moose attempt
[1/4/2009 11:53:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: You will
[1/4/2009 11:54:03 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: this is totally going in praxis.
[1/4/2009 11:54:10 PM] JJason wants to see it with delay!
[1/4/2009 11:54:21 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: along with sleep deprivation and caffeine.
[1/4/2009 11:54:30 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: there will also be trance, but so far that one hasn't been drawn yet
[1/4/2009 11:55:32 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: the moose drawing is sort of behind the duck
[1/4/2009 11:55:34 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: under its ass
[1/4/2009 11:55:41 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: but beind drawn with one of its feet
[1/4/2009 11:55:59 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: also I should totally copy and paste this convorsation into the praxis
[1/4/2009 11:56:17 PM] JJason says: I think it's an important part of the process, yes
[1/4/2009 11:57:24 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Hm. Do JJasonand alcohol count as two different influences
[1/4/2009 11:57:25 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: ?
[1/4/2009 11:58:48 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Also, planets totally ought to have calling cards. That would be awesome
[1/4/2009 11:59:27 PM] teucer, aka Dok, says: Anyhow, I'm going to bet. Goodnight.
[1/4/2009 11:59:42 PM] JJason says: Sleep well
[12:00:04 AM] JJason says: Do not allow my bed mechabots trouble you as they steal your dreams
4. Sports
Ask any athlete, and they'll tell you there's nothing quite like the feeling of having just exercised. Some people call it a "runner's high" - and while it's not confined to running, the high is definitely real. Depending which researchers you believe, it comes from endorphins, or adrenalin, or anandamide, or some combination. Whatever the chemical details, I recently added a new way to get my fix:
After a few hours of running and jumping, I drew a picture in the state of neurochemical joy that followed. The quality is only slightly worse than what I'm normally capable of; really, it's just a frantically-drawn demonstration of my ordinary low level of talent. I would not regard athletic activity as a strong artistic influence.
5. Trance
I'm a very good hypnotic subject. And thanks to having a psychotherapist for a mother, from a very early age I've been able to do basic self-hypnosis. I currently favor the coin drop induction, depicted here.
Being near some of my art supplies led to an unexpected course of events. I'd made a rule for myself of doing all of these as sketches with pen or pencil on paper, because that was something I could do under most circumstances (although it did nix the sensory deprivation idea), including bringing a pad of paper to parkour practice with me. But while in trance, I drew a phoenix - and then I grabbed my vermillion pigment and went to work on the details. The result was way better than my normal output.
22 vote(s)
4
Jellybean of Thark
5Tøm
5Philippe
3JJason Recognition
5Sombrero Guy
3GYØ Ben
3Rin Brooker
3Minch
3Mr Everyday
5Leslie
3Augustus deCorbeau
2Loki
5Herbie Hatman
3zer0gee
5anna one
5artmouse
3Ben Yamiin
3sami
5lefthandedsnail
5Dan |ØwO|
3Dennis Carwyr
5Ty Ødin
Terms
duckonaboat14 comment(s)
posted by Philippe on February 19th, 2009 12:24 PM
Vote for the chat log, honestly. And alchemist slang.
posted by teucer on February 19th, 2009 12:30 PM
I'm quite fond of the implications of alchemist slang.
posted by Mr Everyday on February 19th, 2009 6:49 PM
Indeed. I wonder how difficult it would be to find an actual example of alchemist slang, given that there were "alchemists", and they did talk (and more importantly write) to each other...
posted by Philippe on February 20th, 2009 12:05 AM
You be all searchin' for the Philosophick Mercury and shit.
posted by JJason Recognition on February 19th, 2009 1:12 PM
That is the worst picture of a duck on a boat eat naan with Henry Kissinger while playing parcheesi and drawing a moose that I have ever seen.
posted by GYØ Ben on February 19th, 2009 2:33 PM
In the 21 minutes that the chat log spans for, you become noticeably more drunk.
lol.
posted by Minch on February 19th, 2009 5:09 PM
vote b/c I fully believe listening to JJason counts as under the influence... (JJason, your ideas made me lol all over mself)...
posted by JJason Recognition on February 19th, 2009 11:31 PM
I am still disappointed that I did not have a chance to make other, equally stupid suggestions.
posted by susy derkins on February 19th, 2009 8:57 PM
Coin drop induced trance, wow. Did you decide a phoenix beforehand? how does that work?
posted by teucer on February 20th, 2009 10:25 AM
I did not decide on any of my subjects prior to being under the influence.
As for the coin drop - I'd have a hard time explaining how to do it, but the basic technique involves holding a coin and concentrating on the sensation it makes between your fingers, noting how it starts as cold metal and slowly warms up so that you can't feel that there's anything there at all anymore, while also relaxing, until eventually you lose the ability to feel and thus to hold onto the coin entirely and it slips out from between your fingers.
posted by Leslie on February 19th, 2009 9:19 PM
The art, my friend, is not so good. But you were certainly thorough about your influences!
And the chat log was hilarious. The naan-eating, parcheesi-playing, Kissenger-kissing, moose-drawing boater duck was well played.
posted by artmouse on April 13th, 2009 9:59 AM
vote for sports bird-dinosaur! (and everything else)
Look at all the science.