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teucer / Texts
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So after waking up (much earlier than three in the afternoon) I fed the dogs, then put a tiny cardstock surfboard in the mail, addressed to Alaska (c/o Sarah Palin). Shortly thereafter I took a couple of choice wizards for a walk - specifically, Prodigal Sorcerer and Zuran Spellcaster. The dogs came too.
I goofed off for a bit after that, including posting to a web forum I'm a regular on. I posted my own telling of a fairy tale that's been passed down in my family, about a dragon with a rubber nose who causes a great deal of trouble by erasing all the signs; in the version as posted, I played up the throwaway detail about how one of the problems this caused was people not being told what to buy because all the billboards were blank - a topic which is inherently a deconstruction of modern consumerist society. (I would include the full text of that post here, but I'm not going to inflict that much uninterrupted text on you guys just for level zero.)
Next, a bit of Lost. Because it was to plan for Sutro Tower Day, I decided to re-watch the season three finale, which has the first appearance of the radio tower. It reminded me both of why I stopped watching sometime in season four (because I didn't like how they changed the rules partway through the show, primarily by adding time travel in season three) and of what I liked about it (the fact that even as they answer many of the big questions they keep the sense of mystery alive and, after the time travel shows up, how they have one of the most interesting takes on time travel, prophecy, and the connection between them I have ever seen). Great show, even if I'm not still following it. Hm. Maybe I should again. Maybe I need to make up a date for Sutro Tower Day (it's the holiday I invented to wish people a good one of at C2BK) that gives me time to catch up on Lost before it rolls around.
Next, shortly after noon, I decided to do some woodworking. Now this was a tricky requirement for the mad lib to give me, because I don't have the supplies to do it currently and don't feel like spending the money on getting them just for a single detail of a level zero task. So I picked a project I could do with just a jackknife and materials I could find. I decidet to make an atlatl, based on these directions, using a branch I cut in my neighborhood. Unfortunately I couldn't find my jackknife. So I promised myself that atlatl-making and atlatl tasking would be in my future, and moved on to the next step. For now, that promise would have to be my day's movement in the direction of woodworking.
It was afternoon, so it was time to compose. Now I am trained in music theory only insofar as it relates to jazz improvisation, and the only instrument I'm good enough at to improvise on at all well is the trumpet. And my trumpet was stolen about a year ago and I haven't yet found a suitable replacement (in part because I haven't looked very hard), but insurance will pay for it. So I don't currently have a good choice of instrument to mess around with and try to produce a decent tune - but I'm not completely lacking. The recording is me on a wooden recorder-like instrument made and decorated in allegedly traditional Hopi fashion, a souvenir from a trip to the four corners area as a child. First I attempted to play a melody by 16th-century composer Luis Milan, by ear; you can tell that I failed, partly due to difficulty playing the instrument without overblowing. Partly this is because with age the two pieces of wood (one hollow, one which acts as a plug in one end of it to help form the mouthpiece) have come to be less than entirely attached everywhere they should be, meaning that air can leak out - or in - easily.
Clicky - the horror of me sucking at an unfamiliar instrument
That was how I familiarized myself with the instrument. Then I tried to compose a new melody. This started out as a bit of improvising that deliberately strayed further and further from any resemblance to a theme (originally, it was based on the above) until I created a new melody. The recording that resulted had terrible tone quality, and the occasional unexpected very high note, but the tune was nice - not bad, for about ten minutes' work on a busy day of tasking. Here you go!
Clicky - Theme song from "Mad Lives Level Zero", played horribly.
And then I realized I had a problem. My day so far had involved there being windows, and wasn't at all slimy. I covered up the windows in my bedroom with butcher paper; that was straightforward. As for the slime - that would have to wait. I had plans for the evening that involved sliminess.
Next I ate lunch and prepared for the Tunguska Event. This latter part is easier than it sounds, since I've actually been working on an idea for an RPG scenario that the event has relevance to; I did a lot of productive brainstorming for that and have taken it from the germ of an idea to something approaching a playable scenario. (Hey Skype team! You may get a chance to play it sometime! But not quite yet; it still isn't done.)
By the way, while I was in the kitchen I found that toaster.
After that Darkaardvark and I wasted time on the website he suggested. Then just after three, I went to take a very short nap. Just as I was falling asleep, it got to be 3:14 PM and I woke up. Then we kept messing around with the puzzle for a while before I ultimately decided to take a break and read the wikipedia article on string theory. (I still have no idea what it's talking about.)
Now for some tasking. I have plans for Storm Isengard, but that task will take close to a full 24 hours to do and is almost impossible to fit into a day of Mad Lives. So I decided to prepare a bit. My plans make use of a certain apparatus which has sat in my bedroom unused for about two years, so in preparation for the tasking I decided to refamiliarize myself with the basic principles of its operation.
A little after five I went on another walk. I decided that while carrying two Magic cards in your pocket is a good enough way to take the wizards out first thing in the morning, I needed to do something more interesting for the afternoon and evening outings. My first more interesting option, therefore, involved going on a walk with a backpack full of Terry Pratchett novels. (Ones about wizards, of course.) So that is what I did.
Then I wasted more time playing Funny Farm.
The last mandatory piece of my day was the evening outing, and I'd been lame enough about the required tasking work and the woodworking that I simply had to do something a bit more epic for this part. And, of course, a bit slimier. My plan: walk the dogs while dressed as a wizard.
Of course just being a generic wizard would never do. I had to pick a specific one. Based on having done so successfully in the past, I chose Remus J. Lupin. I gave myself some fake scars across the face. The technique I like to use involves optionally drawing the scars in with white eyeliner pencil, then applying a 3:2 mix of warm water and unflavored gelatin, ideally with a splash of red food coloring in it, over the lines and waiting for it to dry. It comes out a little shiny, but other than that quite realistic for long-healed scars. You have to keep the gelatin layer thin, though - but not too thin, or the color won't show up at all. See? I told you the day would get properly slimy.
We were out of gelatin, so I had to make do with some isinglass I had among my brewing supplies. Obtained from fish, isinglass is a gelatin-like compound sold to brewers as a fining agent. Isinglass, as it turns out, doesn't come out as clear as gelatin when it's that concentrated in the water - which would be a good thing if it weren't for the fact that it thus doesn't blend with the skin at the edges, leading to a very fake-looking fake scar. Also, for reasons unknown to me, a little red food dye turns isinglass a rather brighter shade of red than it does gelatin. The result was unfortunate.
Once the isinglass scars had dried, I went to get dressed. And then I discovered that my wizard robe (AKA my high school graduation gown) was in storage, and I had nothing good on hand to substitute for it. Suddenly, all my work with foul-smelling slimy things on my face was for naught. Time to pick a different approach to walking the wizards. I washed my face, and gave thanks for the one advantage of isinglass over gelatin for cosmetic purposes - it comes off far more easily.
So I whipped up a first level wizard character, in D&D 4th edition. Then I washed my face, and took my character sheet and dogs out for a walk. Two copies of the character, actually - with different names. I maintain that they are different people who happen to be like each other in every way. So there.
And when I got back, I gave Bob Dylan a cannon.
So that was my day. Slimy as advertised.
Being augmented is a surprising feeling.
When I'm paying attention to navigating, I'm now always conscious of a
buzzing feeling which, despite being produced by four motors at four
fixed spots, seems to simply move around my waist, always coming from
the north.
Living in a city whose streets are laid out on a grid (in many
places), I tend to navigate by knowing compass directions... but I'm
often pretty bad at knowing which way is which, and have in the past
solved this problem by staring at shadows and estimating based on the
time and limited knowledge of sundials which way they should be going.
This works quite well... except that I get lost sometimes on cloudy
days.
With the belt on, I simply know which way north is. It's not
because I pay attention to the moving buzzy feeling - it's just always
there, so I know which way it is without taking the time to think
about it. Perhaps unexpectedly, if I'm facing in one direction
constantly even for thirty seconds my brain quickly tunes it out and I
have no extra sense of north. But as soon as I move, I'm aware of
directions again and my sixth sense returns. This means standing up
when I've been at my computer for a while feels a little strange.
The weirdest part of the experience, though, has got to be my new nervous habit.
The belt needs to be degaussed periodically. There's a switch which
you flip the other way and then return to its normal state in order to
do this. Any time something gets the belt a little bit off, this is
particularly necessary - and I notice such a thing on a subconscious
level, when it happens. So something will feel jarring, I'll degauss
and it will go away, and then I'll realize it's because I was standing
next to a refrigerator for a while. But now I'm degaussing myself
whenever something feels odd. "This soup tastes funny! Time to
degauss!" "Holy crap what was that noise? Degauss!" "It feels weird
not having my belt on. Deg- um, huh. That's vaguely unsettling."
Hm. I'd be less likely to trust an SF0 player with this. There's all sorts of tasks *they* might be completing while I did it, after all.
(Although someone cool with taste I shared who was known to be planning a Doodle Derive - which presupposes they find me attractive, but come on, I totally am - might work.)
It's my job.
You see, I've been looking for work for a while, and applying to just about every job I qualify for. So far I've been successful in two of my many applications - one for a poorly-paid position as a pirate at various Ren Faires and similar over the course of the summer (and yes, there will be pirate praxis at some point), and one as an Easter Bunny.
I didn't actually apply to be an Easter Bunny. All my hours at this job were originally scheduled as a "helper," which means wearing the blue polo shirt in my current player photo, khakis, and a purple apron, and taking pictures and working the cash register. But early on in the process they called me for some extra hours as a bunny instead. Bunnies get to wear whatever they feel like, including an iPod (the worst part about the bunny job is that you may not speak, for three hours at a time, and some people find this soul-crushingly boring). They also get to make an extra dollar an hour.
For some reason, usually the aforementioned lack of speaking privileges, most people vastly prefer to be a helper. I don't, probably because I'm an introvert. So I get a fair number of bunny hours. I find it a lot of fun. Whenever I change out of the bunny suit, my coworkers say things that imply they think I must be really glad to be out of it. I mention that I actually prefer being the bunny to being a helper, and they look at me like I am crazy. But that's fine by me, as it means more of those hours are available.
As for the praxis? On Friday, about a quarter of the people who came by during the evening shift (6 PM - 9 PM) were high school students. This particular person was chatting with one of my coworkers. They didn't know each other beforehand, but he was apparently hanging out at the mall I think waiting for some friends (at least, he later left with a group of other guys about his age who showed up just after the arm wrestling). When my coworker came over to adjust my fan (the bunny has a fan blowing in its face whenever there aren't pictures being taken, to prevent heat stroke), I beckoned him over and whispered that he should pass on a challenge to arm wrestle. The guy in the picture was overwhelmingly puzzled by the entire experience.
Oh, also - I lost. I actually have never won at arm-wrestling that wasn't rigged, except that I have a friend who is in the same boat and we went head-to-head once. Neither of us can remember how that turned out, but we both remember laughing afterwards about how pathetic a match-up it was.
Man. Me typing a long-winded comment that's really there to encourage new people but comes out more verbose and more analytical than it needs to be to an almost intimidating degree, and Burn Unit responding with a man what?
Looking at the date stamps, we totally should've done that on purpose.
::just sort of stands there::
Well, you don't have to worry about pretired tasks. So, things that are likely enough to come up by accident and are part of current or retired tasks are all there is to worry about.
So, here are the rules (not a complete list, just things it takes effort to avoid):
No trespassing.
Avoid most interesting interactions with strangers. In particular, avoid Frank Chu, security guards, spammers, postal carriers and paperboys, as well as Sheldon.
Avoid involving any particularly interesting objects that might be construed as "treasure." But keep your boring objects useful and new.
Involve no plants.
Press at least one button.
Don't do any of your daily activities any differently from normal.
Stay sober.
Stay above ground. Avoid labyrinths, construction sites, abandoned buildings, and anywhere scheduled for demolition, as well as anywhere too pleasant or with a floor that's good for sitting. Avoid also places overrun by nature, the highest point of anything, and the steps of City Hall. Keep away from areas you find particularly attractive or repulsive. Interesting locations in general are probably to be avoided - but make sure you aren't in the middle of nowhere, either.
Take photographs only where permitted, and only in broad daylight. Don't take any in restrooms or while blindfolded, and don't appear in any photos you take.
Go to work or school. If you work on the Sutro Tower or in a very tall building, make sure it's school you're going to. However, under no circumstances should you attend a class you aren't enrolled in.
Don't be too passive, especially on street corners.
Make sure anything unusual you're doing is not being done by others at the same time.
Cross no highways.
Play no games.
Make sure you get noticed, but don't do it by dressing to stand out.
Be uninjured when you start your completion.
Clues about what you're up to should not be left.
Don't ask anyone for anything.
Stay off public transit.
Describe no interesting events.
Make no charitable contributions.
Take perfectly ordinary baths, or none at all.
Use modern technology.
Secret pleasures are strictly forbidden.
If you touch your collaborators, it had better be sexual.
Climbing and parkour are both verboten.
Don't mess with the lighting.
No cheating.
Distractions are discouraged, even if the mailman doesn't see them.
Don't do anything likely to happen in the future, lest you cause deja vu or preenact something.
I shot a man in Reno, just to get fifteen points?
Best. Title. Ever.