Map Your Life (introduction)*

The gummy bears went on strike for a really long time. They were upset about something, but they have terrible memories, so after a while they forgot why they’d gone on strike. Unfortunately, they also forgot about tasking. For several weeks, both the gummies and Evil Sugar didn’t visit the SF0 site. This was very sad.

Then something happened.

A package arrived.

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The package was addressed to “G. Bears c/o E. Sugar.” The gummies assumed that “G” stood for Gummy. They had no idea what c/o meant, but since the package had their name on it, they decided they should open it. According to the return address, it was from Burn Unit. The bears were instantly suspicious. They examined the box carefully.

It was an orange Nike shoebox. It cost $2.23 to mail. According to both the postmark and the return address, the package came from Minneapolis. As far as the gummies knew, Burn Unit lives in Minneapolis, so that checked out. The box was stamped twice with “Media Mail (subject to search).”

Subject to search sounded like good advice. The gummies decided to search the package.

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The shoebox contained:
- 15 plastic monkeys (1 red, 4 orange, 4 blue, 6 green)
- 1 postcard
- 5 sheets of newspaper (varied sizes)
- 1 torn sheet of newsprint
- 3 sheets of bubble wrap, taped around smaller box.
- 1 small red/orange/white box

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The small red/orange/white box was empty. There was an image at the base of the box, which appeared to be an egg, or perhaps a sun. There was writing on the inside of the lid: "Sous la pave, la plage."

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The gummies were terrified! They had opened the box, and it had THE PLAGUE VIRUS inside! They wrapped themselves in the bubble wrap blanket and waited for death to come.

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Several hours later, they were still alive. Evil Sugar explained that the writing was in French, and had nothing to do with the plague.

They found more messages written on the inside of the shoebox, and Evil Sugar translated them:

"Sous la pave, la plage" (under the oppressive rules of civilization lies freedom)
"L'invention Du Quotidien" - A book by Michel de Certeau (The Practice of Everyday Life)

Last, they examined the postcard. It referenced "SF0.org/about" The page was altered in two places to include references to Austin:

SFZero: An interface for Austin. That is to say, a new representation for the data that's already there. Your mind is full of /inaccurate/ representations that are affecting the way you use the Austin dataflow: steering you away from interaction and collaboration and towards unproductive reflexive data loops (forNext). SFZero designers are working double-shifts to engineer this next-generation interface that will bring you together with your cohabitants to experience the freedom that is /hard-coded/ into Austin's protocol.

Don't forget: the public life of your character is constituted largely by the proof you submit. If you fail to document your progress creatively your character will appear inept and foolish to the other residents of Austin.

The gummies did not wish to appear inept and foolish to the other residents of Austin, and therefore they decided they must take up tasking once more.

(They also decided that the empty box would make a nice container for the plastic monkeys.)

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Map Your Life***

Evil Sugar has a strange sense of direction. She tends to think of whatever direction she is going as north. So when mapping her life, it seemed only natural to make the future north, since that’s the direction she’s going. The past is behind her, so it is south. Therefore, the timeline of her life made a nice vertical line going up the center of the page:

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But what about east and west?

After giving it a bit of thought, Evil Sugar decided that east and west obviously represented alternate timelines. She made her very best and most accurate guesses as to what these alternate timelines would be like. When reading the map, remember that the alternate timelines run from the bottom of the page to the top. So on the far western edge of the map, Evil Sugar is born as a bubble, transmutes into a fish, is magicked into a two-tailed mermaid, builds an underwater village for her millions of mer-child-bubble babies, and is ultimately destroyed by Tragdor:

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On the far eastern edge of the map, Evil Sugar is born on a spaceship headed for a distant moon, aliens invade earth, and the moon colony is attacked so hard by vampire bats from an alternate dimension that the moon itself cries tears of blood. (The mooing turtle arrives too late to save the colonists.):

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The rest of the map is pretty self explanatory, just remember to read the map in columns from bottom to top.

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* NOTE: The gummies are perfectly aware that this introduction has nothing whatsoever to do with this task. Well, almost nothing. A monkey did make it into the final map, so it's vaguely related. But that's not the point. The point is that the gummies would not have completed this task had they not gotten Burn Unit's package, and therefore the introduction is appropriate. The gummies voted unanimously** to include the introduction in this praxis.

** NOTE: Okay, the vote wasn't actually unanimous. But the gummies that voted against including the introduction have mysteriously disappeared. NOM NOM NOM.

***NOTE: Evil Sugar can't draw, but she tried to draw anyway, because the gummies wanted to task, but were too tired to do much after spending all that time analyzing**** the contents of Burn Unit's gift.

****NOTE: Okay okay the gummies were actually tired because they spent too much time riding around on the monkeys. But either way, they weren't a lot of help when the time came to work on the task.