I picked out five ads from last week's Guardian that sounded like the 30 second pitches we were forced to practice for that 'chance meeting in an elevator' all throughout film school. Bum ba da dum dump, and here they are: M for W ARCHEOLOGIST/DOCTO...

personal ads: ( i really think i found some winners ) 1. from craigslist (chicago) Are you an actuary? Date: 2006-09-14, 11:19AM CDT I’ve given a bit of thought to what kind of man I want to date, and I’ve determined that an actuary woul...

I got these off of craigslist on July 30th, 2006. An interesting cross-section of what you will find there. Cute hapa princess looking for her prince - 18 (ingleside / SFSU / CCSF) Reply to: pers-187961927@craigslist.org Date: 2006-07-29, ...

I like good stuff - 22 Reply to: pers-177837484@craigslist.org Date: 2006-07-02, 9:31PM EDT I enjoy thinking. A lot of people pursue things that are meaningless below the surface and I do not want that. I would like to meet a woman that is ...

Reply to: pers-290691904@craigslist.org Date: 2007-03-08, 2:47PM MST Okay here goes......I'm in a huge fix and I know there's got to be woman that's interested. If not for the weird factor, at least for the money. Saturday morning ( March 10 ) @ 1...

These are all from The Other Paper (a local independent newspaper), on November 1st: FIRM RUNNER'S BUTT ISO someone to restrain my wrists and ankles before spanking me with a rubber stamps. 7366 I'd love to have a firm runner's butt, but it'd be ...

I couldn't NOT use this first ad: http://portlandmercury.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A389990 My favorite bits from this - "The quickest way to my bed is by asking" Wow, that says a lot. I can't say that's somet...

My old roommate's (Ruthie) mother sent her the most amazing and heartbreaking post: a ripped out newspaper ad for jdate.com. No note, no "Love, Mom", just an ad and an envelope. In honor of Ruthie, I have scoured jdate.com for potential love matche...

I hit craigslist for this. I've perused CL personals before and after a while they all seem the same. Take these for example. Please don't blame me if you fall asleep reading them and hit your head on the keyboard and get a bruise that is sha...

Car Flirting (2002 ish) - m4w Reply to: pers-183619613@craigslist.org Date: 2006-07-18, 10:20PM PDT Long shot, but about 4 years ago, I saw you, cute, blond driving across the bay bridge...we were about to exchange phone numbers to talk when you...