Tasks / Columbus Day!
Celebrate Columbus Day!
Columbus Day is coming up, and there has been a call to celebrate it. Remember that not only is it a profane and unwholesome day to celebrate, but it is also rarely regarded. Here's the official ceremony, as described by the minstrel Jason Webley:
One night prior, bake some cookies. Or brownies. And perhaps prepare something to drink, like delicious almond milk. Make a lot; you'll be giving them out.
Visit your local post office. When someone approaches with a package to mail, hide yourself in the bushes. Observe their confusion as to why the Post Office is closed on a Monday. They may well ask aloud, "Why, in God's Name, is this Post Office closed today?" At this moment, spring out from the bushes, loudly declaring:
Happy Columbus Day!!!
And then offer them milk and cookies as a consolation prize.
1 to 10 players
45 points
Level 3
0 completed :: 0 in progress
Interested in collaborating on this: (no one yet!)
this task is retired
Comments
Aww... You look so sad! Your moustache is doing fabulously well by the way.
I really wanted to celebrate Columbus Day with this task, but failed. Honestly, I was still recuperating from Battle Royale.
There must be another such obscure holiday around the corner that will mysteriously shut down the USPS on a Monday...
It doesn't mysteriously shut down the post office, but the much more deserving Leif Erikson had his day yesterday. I celebrated by wearing a Norwegian flag pin and giving out samples of Jarlsburg.
Handle bar mustache + white fingernails + evil = damn sexy!
Oh my god! Who is a Jason Webley fan? Because he is one of my favorite musicians, and I've seen him live at the Gilman three times.....Freakin amazing. i think we also need a "Celebrate May Day" task, based on his May Day blog....
My own celebration of Columbus Day was to visit the post office intending to send packages. Now, you may be wondering why the person who posted the f*ing event celebrating the closure of post offices on Columbus Day would go to a post office on Columbus Day expecting to be able to mail some packages... Because nothing can stop me, NOTHING! (and I plumb dumb forgot it was Columbus Day)
So I went to the post office, and it was closed...
And I had all these packages to send!
And I was sad.
But I wished many other would-be USPS patrons a very Happy Columbus Day, while they stood around confused. This appeared to make them happy again. Here are a couple of happy Columbus Day celebrants, seconds after being informed that it is Happy Columbus Day:
...
God Bless the Automated Postal Machine!