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Lincøln
Level 8: 5802 points
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Last Logged In: May 6th, 2017
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75 + 260 points

As He Believes, So He Is. She'll Beg For More... by Lincøln

March 27th, 2008 6:24 PM / Location: 34.251359,-118.3570

INSTRUCTIONS: Send literary or artistic spam email to no fewer than 1000 recipients.

     First a warning:
****WARNING****
This proof has a lot of nudity and adult themes, so if you are offended by adult themes, skip this proof.





OK, this is a long story. I started out doing this task not knowing how to get my hands on 1000 email addresses, and thought about creating a bot to go get them, but since technology and I aren't the best of friends, I decided to do it the old (new) fashioned way. Which turned out to be much more difficult than I'm sure it needed to be, but was also very rewarding, so in the end, worth it.

I posted ads on Craigslist and then harvested the emails of the people who replied. Normally spamming people and stealing email addresses would be against my moral code, but because I would be sending them good spam, spam they could use and enjoy, I found that I didn't mind at all.

But something curious happened. When I started getting the emails back, I started to read them. And then I knew this task was going to be bigger than just literary spam. So I have combined this task into these other tasks as well. So not only will I be completing this task (As He Believes, So He Is. She'll Beg For More), I will also be completing Personal Ads 1, Personal Ads 2, Personal Ads 3, Personal Ads 4, Personal Ads 5, and I also wound up completing correspond with a scammer and Spam Poetry. I also managed to complete Personalized Spam. I suppose I'm also doing this task and all of the others like it.


All right. First we'll start with As He Believes.

I started out by going to as many amateur porn sites on the interweb as I could and grabbed pictures of unknown amateur porn-hopefuls. I tried to find girls who had huge picture sets so I could find a few of them with their clothes on. Which I did.
Then I would take the girls, give them some personality, and write personal ads for them.
email capture 2
email capture 4
This worked pretty well at first, but after getting only a hundred or so email responses, the adds got flagged. I couldn't figure out why. Maybe it was the abbreviated stories that accompanied the photos. So I wrote longer messages for each girl. Genius.
email capture 5
email capture 6
With those awesome new ads posted I'm thinking I would be set and sat back and waited for the 1000 unique emails roll in.

That didn't happen.
Flagged
So I decided to blanket Craigslist with many different ads raging in scope and projected target audience. The most popular one that lasted the longest time was this one.
email capture 7
Sweet and simple, and to the point, not asking for much and very specific. It was interesting trying to figure out what would get flagged off and what wouldn't. I eventually found a system that worked. And I got well over 1000 responses. I decided to get at least 1100 to make sure that the repeat customers didn't drop my total to under 1000. I wound up getting 1293 responses.
I sent out 1030, because I noticed that some of them bounced. So I erred on the side of doing more work, than not enough.

This is the literary spam I send to over 1000 recipients:

I Was Trying to Describe You to Someone
I was trying to describe you to someone a few days ago. You don't look like any girl I've ever seen before.

I couldn't say "Well she looks just like Jane Fonda, except that she's got red hair, and her mouth is different and of course, she's not a movie star..."

I couldn't say that because you don’t look like Jane Fonda at all.

I finally ended up describing you as a movie I saw when I was a child in Tacoma Washington. I guess I saw it in 1941 or 42, somewhere in there. I think I was seven, or eight, or six.

It was a movie about rural electrification, a perfect 1930's New Deal morality kind of movie to show kids. The movie was about farmers living in the country without electricity. They had to use lanterns to see by at night, for sewing and reading, and they didn't have any appliances like toasters or washing machines, and they couldn't listen to the radio. They built a dam with big electric generators and they put poles across the countryside and strung wire over fields and pastures.

There was an incredible heroic dimension that came from the simple putting up of poles for the wires to travel along. They looked ancient and modern at the same time.

Then the movie showed electricity like a young Greek god, coming to the farmer to take away forever the dark ways of his life. Suddenly, religiously, with the throwing of a switch, the farmer had electric lights to see by when he milked his cows in the early black winter mornings. The farmer's family got to listen to the radio and have a toaster and lots of bright lights to sew dresses and read the newspaper by.

It was really a fantastic movie and excited me like listening to the Star Spangled Banner, or seeing photographs of President Roosevelt, or hearing him on the radio "... the President of the United States... "

I wanted electricity to go everywhere in the world. I wanted all the farmers in the world to be able to listen to President Roosevelt on the radio....

And that's how you look to me.

That is a short story written by Richard Brautigan. And the email address that I set up for this task was brautiganstories@gmail.com and the user's name on the account is Richard Brautigan.

This is me weeding through the replies and sending off the story. Only watch that video if you feel like going mad with boredom, or want to get a small glimpse of what I did for the better part of two days.
Sending 1000 emails
Get the Flash Player to see this player.

And this is what my outbox looks like. Page after page after page that look just like this.
Sent list


OK. So that was the official completion of the task. I emailed that literary spam to over 1000 unique recipients.
And in sending out those ads (and then replying to them) I completed Personal Ads 4. Which is cool. But to further delve into the void of personal ads, I'm going to delve a little bit more deeply into it here. OK. First you should know that I got over 1000 emails from people looking to make a connection. Which kinda makes me sad. And made me wish I was the person in the ad so I could give them all what they want. At the end of this praxis you'll find 65 of my favorite responses. There'll be a picture with the file name of the actual photo they sent me and the caption at the bottom of each photo is what was written in the body of the email sent to me. Enjoy those later. I decided not to burden you good people with the hundreds of pictures of cock I received. If anybody wants hundreds of pictures of cock for an art project, let me know, because I have them. I did include a few pictures that contain cock, but it's not as blatant (well, it's still pretty blatant), but you'll see those in a bit.

But right now I'm going to focus on the people that wrote back to Richard Brautigan after he sent them the story. I responded to the responses trying to ease the burden The Crisis had put on them. Below you will find all of the responses I got from every person that bothered to write me back and all of our correspondence. I'm in blue, they're in red.


W. L to me

who are you?

You don't know me. What you read was a short story by Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.


gknyc to me

i m not a girl faggootttt

I'm aware of your gender. What you read was a short story by Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.


Tantra Pornstars to me

Dude, that is so non-sequiter, what are you on, Acid?

No. Actually I thought I would share a short story from Richard Brautigan with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

ok, let me share this story with you.


filmboss to me

I think you sent this to me by mistake...I'm a guy...

No mistake. I'm aware of your gender, and I believe that art transcends gender. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

who are you? and what makes you think I need to feel better?

You don't know me. And everybody can feel better. Right?

sorry dude, you email address is being blocked...a little too creepy for me...

Do what you want, I was just trying to share some art.
And I'm not a dude, just the author of the story is.



rick mclovin to me

???
~Rick~


What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

Sorry,
You got the wrong number.
I mean E-Mail address.
~Rick~



Nate to me

I'm not any girl. I 'm every man you wished you met.
I'll be trout fishing in non-America.
These Native streams are deceitful.
My watermelon sugar is glazed in far off lands.
My heart is electric, and there's a power shortage.
Don't describe me.
You'll never know.
Make Love.


I am inspired by your reply. I sent that same email to 1000 random people and you are the only person who knew the author. Did the story make you feel better at all? Maybe put a smile on your face?

No. It made me feel worse than I've ever felt in my life.
It made me realize that people suck.
And don't realize a good thing, when it is right in front of their
faces.
Who are you?
And why are you SPAMMING people with Richard Brautigan references?
-N


Wait, really? This one email made you feel worse than you have ever felt in your life? Why is that? And how did you make the leap from getting an email from one person to the conclusion that all people suck? I think I really don't understand how spreading art can have a negative effect. And I really don't understand the comment about people not realizing a good thing when it's in their faces. Are you referencing yourself? Because you certainly couldn't be referencing me, because you know nothing about me except that I went through a lot of work to share art with strangers. If I only had that one piece of information, I think I might've drawn the opposite conclusion. Please explain.

I fell in love with a girl. Tried to end it. She filed sexual
harassment against me the next day. My life is ruined. Financially,
emotionally, and professionally.
I have to leave the country, just to try to find a job.
and I'm still in love with her, but can't do anything about it.
-N



ungabungapizazz to me

....you've sent your story to the wrong person

Not true. I sent it to the right person, even though you don't know me. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

who are you....do I know you?

No, like I said before, you don't know me.
I'm just trying to spread a little joy in the form of a Richard Brautigan story.



Daniel to me

Thanks! It's rare that a respected novelist takes the time to write me, and even rarer that he seems to mistake me for a chick.
Thanks for reading, Dan K


I did not mistake you for a chick, I am well aware of your gender and I believe art transcends gender. I shared that Richard Brautigan story with you in the hopes that it would make you feel better.

Well thank you. In fact, it did make me feel better. Nice passage.
So what's the deal? Why Brautigan? Why me?


I'm doing a task for a game where the goal is to send literary or artistic spam to 1000 recipients in the hopes that instead of ads for viagra and crappy mortgage deals, there'd be something that'd make them smile and think and improve their lives in some small but quantifiable way.
http://www.sf0.org



Toby to me

Really romantic. I'd like to marry you. Like a toaster.

What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

Very nice, thank you!
Richard, I may have a brain like a sieve, but do I know you? ;-)


No you don't know me. Your brain is like an iron trap today.
I'm doing a task for a game where the goal is to send literary or artistic spam to 1000 recipients in the hopes that instead of ads for viagra and crappy mortgage deals, there'd be something that'd make them smile and think and improve their lives in some small but quantifiable way.
http://www.sf0.org


Oh, cool, one of those Reality games ... sounds good!
Keep it up - and by the way, if you talk about art, visit my homepage :-)
www.tobiasdeml.com
Toby



Walter to me

you sent this to the wrong person, so i think you need to try again. i am not even a female.

Not true. I sent this to the intended recipient. I'm aware of your gender. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.


Tiffany Jones to me

How did you get my email and where sis you see my picture?

I haven't seen your picture. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

Send me a picture of yourself

I don't want anything from you. I just wanted to spread a little joy in the form of a good story. And perhaps put a smile on your face and make your day better than it was.


caitlyn spina to me

who are you !?

You don't know me. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

how do you know me to have my email... i have red hair soooo that trips me out~

You were chosen pretty arbitrarily. I wasn't aware of the color of your hair. I thought maybe you could use a bright spot in your day. And everybody likes good art. As long as I made your day (life) a little better, or at the very least a little weirder, than I have succeeded.


6618161104 to me

Whos this ?

You don't know me. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.


brandon to me

was this message meant for me..

Yes, it was meant for you. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

who is this...

You don't know me. I was just sending you a story to maybe make your day better.

okay thanks.


lueesc to me

WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?

You don't know me. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

YOU TALK ABOUT ME BEING A GIRL......SOORY IM A MAN.

I'm aware of your gender. That is a work of fiction. It wasn't written for you. I was just hoping perhaps you would enjoy it.

Thank you, I'll try to enjoy.


thebigweez to me

Im a dude asshole

I'm aware of your gender, and I believe that art transcends gender, what you
read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would
share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.


i do'nt know who you are but please don't erite me again


W A to me

what that 4 i dont get it can you tel me plz thank you

What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

any pic

Sure. Here.

where you live r u single what you looking 4 thank you

What am I looking for? I'm looking to improve your day (life) with art. That is all I'm looking for.


Rustin Grant to me

Wow I barely know you and it seems you have me all figured out. this was certainly a special experiance for me whoever you are. Thank you for talking about me. I love you!


aliasjones to me

....you've sent your story to the wrong person

Not true. I sent it to the right person, even though you don't know me. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

who are you....do I know you?

No, like I said before, you don't know me. I'm just trying to spread a little joy in the form of a Richard Brautigan story.

...you're spam, please cease before I report you!


R R to me

?

What you read was a short story by Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

WHO IS THIS

You don't know me. I just decided to share some art with strangers.


SuckaFree to me

ummm ok who are you i dont think i remember you should send a pic i am interested

You don't know me. What you read was a short story from Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

strangely that did come at a time of need and i appreciate it. if theres any way for me to show my gratitude please let me know possibly dinner ? my names matt by the way and you can instant message me on aim if you would like ttyl

I don't require nor desire any reciprocal gratitude. Thank you for the kind offer though. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

so whats your names where are you from


Billy Shiver to me

Well, you look like a dumb-ass because you sent the email to the wrong person!

This email reached it's intended target. I sent you this short story written by Richard Brautigan as a kind gesture to try to make your day (life) a little bit better. Maybe put a smile on your face.

Do I know you?

No. This is a random act of art. Nothing more.

I get a lot of BS spam on this account. While I appreciate art of many types, I would prefer to receive only requested items in the future. I hope your interpretation of random acts of art honors such a request. Good luck to you.


C TJ to me

Does this work for you?

It works very well for me. The intention is to spread art to strangers and as such I consider this a success. This is a short story by Richard Brautigan that I have sent to you in the hopes that it made your day (life) a little better.

Im a guy wondering if that worked on chicks

Since the intention is only to spread art, I find it works regardless of gender. I find that both genders appreciate art.

Oh yes. Do you know who I am? how did you find this email anyway?

No, I do not know who you are. As to how I got your email, it's a long complicated story about doing things the hard way. I meant for this act to be completely selfless and all about spreading art, so to that end, it's really unimportant who I am or how you came to have the story in your email. I just hope that you'll enjoy it. Because that was the intention.

Thank you Richard. Well I was sending out a lot of dirty emails and thought this was sent because of one of those. This is a temptation Im trying to staty away from.
Im going to read your email again, with clearer eyes.


This is a good "pick-up" email if you used it that way. You do start it off addressed to a female..


Fun Couple to me

who are you?

You don't know me. What you read was a short story by Richard Brautigan, which I thought I would share with you. In the hopes that it would make you feel better.

oh... kay... i don't need to feel better. i feel pretty f'n good. but thanks.

I feel really really really good. Actually I feel great, but sending that email made me feel better. I think everybody can always feel better. No matter how they're feeling. There is no ceiling to feeling good. Even if you're having an orgasm in a spaceship to the moon after having won the lottery, you can still feel better. You could get a puppy. And feel better. Or get a Richard Brautigan story from a stranger in an email.
But I'm glad you're feeling pretty f'n good.



tech diver to me

is this a prank?

No. Well, sort of. If you define prank as "acting like a clown or buffoon" or "dressing showily", then no. But if you mean "a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement", then yes. I sent you a short story by Richard Brautigan to amuse you. I wanted to make your day (life) better with this random act of art.

who are you?

You don't know me. I sent this story to 1000 random people. You just got lucky.

how did you get this address, and why are you plagarizing and stealing an identity?

is this the dude from the band artichoke?

I am not from the band Artichoke. And you bring up an interesting conundrum regarding plagiarism. I don't feel this is plagiarism because I haven't published the work, nor distributed it wide enough to fall under that label. Plus I mentioned the author's name and even adopted his name for this email account I used to send his work out, so I believe I skated by the plagiarism. I skated close to the edge, but I believe I wound up on the right side.

I assume you took it from the original RB, I don't care by I'm enthralled that you hace my email kf I don't know who you are and you won't tell me how you recieved it.

I harvested the emails I used by posting a personal ad on craigslist. You and 1000 other people responded to that ad, and I used the email addresses that I found there to send this story out. I felt it to be appropriate both in content, intent and fitting. I was conflicted about posting an ad that I had no intention of replying honestly to, but I felt that I was only using it to spread art and the intention was good, so I felt that that outweighed the lameness of posting the ad in the first place.

thats actually a creative way, i respect that.
http://globalguerrillas.typepad.com/
try reading this, not as creative, but just as interesting


Awesome. I did it for a game.
http://www.sf0.org
Specifically for
http://sf0.org/tasks/As-He-Believes-So-He-Is-Shell-Beg-For-More/#praxis
I will have me proof in within a day or so if you'd like to see it, I'll email you a link to it.


had no idea such a game ever existed, would like to ask more questions, awesome concept.

Ask all the questions you like. It's a pretty great game. Especially in that it can be played any way the player wants to. I suggest signing up and trying it out. I kinda love it.

i might just do that, its better than flirting during work.

That it is. When you sign up let me know who you are in the game. It's a pretty daunting website for beginners. I'll answer any questions you may have.


So yeah, I got 25 responses to 1000 emails sent. Not too bad. 2½%.

Oh and I sent one to a friend of mine who I know enjoys Richard Brautigan, I haven't seen her in a couple years, so she would have no way of suspecting it was me, thus fulfilling Personalized Spam. Here is our brief correspondence:


Pamela to me

One of my favorites, from his "Revenge of the Lawn". It's brilliant writing, truly.
You have me at a disadvantage...


I had a feeling you'd enjoy it. I've sent this email to 1000 random recipients to try to make their days (lives) a little bit better.


So that's 26 replies.

So I spent a lot of time fooling around on the Craigslists, I found myself drawn to the personal ads. Some are very sincere, some are sincerely desperate and some are just plain deluded. But I found myself drawn to and connecting to them all. Perhaps it's because I'm so empathetic, but I really feel for these thousands of lost people who feel that adding another human to their lives will somehow end their misery and loneliness. I have a lot of thoughts on this subject but this praxis is very long already and we have a ways to go yet.

So on with the show.

As I was reading through all of those ads. I decided to complete a few retired tasks while I was here. Like I said earlier, I completed Personal Ads 1, Personal Ads 2, Personal Ads 3, and Personal Ads 5. But I decided to do it in a rather unique way. I completed them all at once (I wish I knew how to wrap my brain around Personal Ads 6, but I'm just not smart enough to even know what that task is asking for much less complete it. Although I did do the first half of this task completely online with a computer and these tasks were written to be done with newspaper and I used Craigslist exclusively as my little nod to EquivalenZ). I picked five personal ads from craigslist (fulfilling task #1), one from the w4m relationships page and four from the Casual Encounters section, a w4m, a m4w, a w4w and a m4m. If you've never ventured into the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist, it's a bit of an adventure. And difficult to find ads that are real. But I managed to find four real ones. OK. So I took my five ads, and made a piece of art with them that is also a recontextualized public transportation diagram, thus fulfilling both task #2 & #5.
Personals Trajectory Of Desire
I then installed the art piece in the place I thought all five people would most enjoy, thus fulfilling task #3.

I decided to put my finished art project in LACC.
LACC
I chose LACC because it's a college and college kids love to fuck. So pretty much every one of the ads would find something they were looking for. Plus it's beautiful and right in the middle of the city with a big grass lawn as a kind of oasis. So it's a very welcoming spot. And I feel that all five people could find whatever they were looking for.

This sign I just found interesting. You've come this far, why not watch this as well?
Get the Flash Player to see this player.

The bulletin board
Again

So there was that.

My Spoetry was created using just the one email that a man called Dario sent to every one of my posts. No matter what time of day or day of the week I posted an ad, Dario managed to find it, and replied with the exact same email every time. This is that email:

You will be rewarded if YOU REPLY J I am looking for girl like you. Hopefully you are real.
I consider myself to be attractive. latino male- 28yrs-old 5'10, 170, medium built with several tattoos. I can show all 7 when & if we meet.- I have short black hair, short crew cut hair cut. most people say that I have a baby face. I would love to have some conversation & laugh a little. Let’s see how I can complement you by phone and then meet your beautiful self.
I promise not to disappoint you, if we do meet. I'm hoping it could lead into something good. I enjoy the company of a great girl., especially when I know that I see someone as beautiful as you on CL
Let's see what happens. If you want to know more contact me @ 1-626-523-**** - my name is Armando


And this is the spoem I made out of his unrealistic, deluded ramblings.
I used every one of his words and recontextualized them. It doesn't make any more sense, but it's far more poetic and mysterious. enjoy.

I consider myself to be something good
I am looking for crew cut hair cut
Let’s see how I can disappoint you
If you promise not to contact me
170 5'10 7 28yrs @ 1-626-523-****
by phone and then meet to have several tattoos
I can show you of what happens
I'm hoping it could laugh
your beautiful company I see
Let's have someone attractive built
Hopefully especially real like you
You will be latino
if more would meet a face
I see you as a short little girl
most people say that I have short black hair
I enjoy the complement some
male baby meet with medium Armando
if I name my self beautiful
& I know when I rewarded a girl
REPLY when that old J
YOU are great as you is on conversation
if all we know we do & want to
lead love into CL


Whew.

+ larger

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Flagged
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Sending 1000 emails
Harvesting emails
Sent list
Dario San.tiff
Personal Ad 1
Personal Ads 1
Personal Ad 1
Personal Ad 1
Personal Ad 1
LED.mp4
Personals Trajectory Of Desire
Personals Trajectory Of Desire
Personals Trajectory Of Desire
Personals Trajectory Of Desire
Personals Trajectory Of Desire
LACC
The bulletin board
Closer
My with my art
Again
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Terms

poetry, nonplayers, masquerade, sex, lewd

33 comment(s)

Tee hee he!
posted by Praxis on March 27th, 2008 6:29 PM

You should start an SF0 after dark or Adult SF0 team...

(no subject)
posted by Flitworth on March 27th, 2008 6:39 PM

I find that the way the majority of those I see in strip clubs, cl, and personals sites rather depress me. Sex as commodity, sex as ultimate goal, sex (gender) as primary indicator of self, standardization of "sexy"....Some days it seems that sex is being separated from pleasure and repackaged.

A vote for your dedication to the task, Lincoln.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on March 27th, 2008 6:50 PM

I have a four page rant on that very subject Flitworth. I have causes and effects and reasons and rationals and history, but this is a really long praxii and I didn't want to make it longer.

(no subject)
posted by JTony Loves Brains on March 27th, 2008 7:05 PM

Just hook it up as a PDF, Lincoln... making it an optional appendix. I, for one, would be very interested, being depressed about the same.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on March 27th, 2008 7:11 PM

Will do JTony. As soon as I have the free time.

Guh.

Musical Interlude
posted by Flitworth on March 27th, 2008 7:48 PM

This is my current and lasting favorite musical commentary on pursuit, love and sex: The Beat that My Heart Skipped. I hope others enjoy it as well.

(no subject) +1
posted by anna one on March 27th, 2008 7:57 PM

Let's start a band and call ourselves "Artichoke".

(no subject)
posted by Fonne Tayne on March 27th, 2008 8:05 PM

"I started out by going to as many amateur porn sites on the interweb as I could..."


betcha can't promise you didn't start before ya knew this was a task!


hahaa.... "like a toaster..."

electrifying.
posted by Myrna Minx on March 27th, 2008 8:17 PM

could this be more fascinating?

i'm so, so happy you responded to the lonelies' confusion. and so dissapointed at how few appreciated it.

Brautigan makes me swoon.

"All of us have a place in history. Mine is clouds."
-RB

rural farmers were skeptical when the gov't and WPA began electrifying the countryside... a PR campaign was launched to convince them that electricity was good and not (just) deadly! enjoy...

light.jpg
By Lester T Beall, 1937.

Armando/Dario story, ouch
posted by susy derkins on March 27th, 2008 10:33 PM

Epic and moving, sir.
lost people who feel that adding another human to their lives will somehow end their misery and loneliness . Yeah, no-one ever stops at thinking about the how...

(no subject) +1
posted by Scienceguru on March 27th, 2008 11:04 PM

This is at least, fairly clever and the Brautigan makes my heart happy. My only quibble is the rather unnecessary codocil that the respondents were sad. I doubt they were. They were just trying to connect: exactly like all you folks on this website. Whether you do it with the brains or the organs is just a matter of style.

Awesome.
posted by Bex. on March 27th, 2008 11:07 PM

"Its not porn; its poultry."
There's a distinction? What? Depends on what you're into I guess...

Hey Flit: I just saw Scroobius Pip! The first concert I've paid to see in an eternity. So much awesome.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on March 27th, 2008 11:40 PM

Ask Lola.

(no subject)
posted by Levitating Potato on March 28th, 2008 12:29 AM

"'Its not porn; its poultry.'"
"There's a distinction? What? Depends on what you're into I guess..."

I was once (jokingly) accused of being into poultry porn in an online discussion. I then made the mistake of mentioning this to a friend. He promptly discovered that there is in fact such a thing, and sent me proof.

Suffice to say that it exists, you can find it with Google, and you don't want to.

Excellent tasking.

ScienceGoar
posted by Praxis on March 28th, 2008 12:35 AM

Any one of us has connected better than you have.
At least we are comfortable admitting that we are attracted to our obsessions.
You stalk us and yet you refuse to reveal yourself while studying us more and more. Are you that scared of your Self?

(no subject)
posted by Burn Unit on March 28th, 2008 6:56 AM

POW!

(no subject)
posted by Scienceguru on March 28th, 2008 7:02 AM

That's a pow? I don't think so, lol.

I'm not trying to connect with you. If I was, you'd notice :>

(no subject)
posted by JTony Loves Brains on March 28th, 2008 7:17 AM

Praxis: I don't see this as stalking on Scienceguru's part. She's making pretty constructive comments here, and that's encouraging all around. In spite of what she might say, she's just playing the game in her own way, and more players is better, praxis or no praxis. At least that's how I feel.

And Scienceguru, communication is connection. If you weren't trying to connect on some level you wouldn't be talking. Keep connecting. It is working.

I disagree, I think this praxis IS
posted by Burn Unit on March 28th, 2008 8:03 AM

the image is a link, actually. clouds in your coffee much, everyone?

(no subject)
posted by JTony Loves Brains on March 28th, 2008 10:31 AM

Dracula's favorite song.... "you're so vein...."

ditto Myrna
posted by Minch on March 28th, 2008 10:51 AM

"i'm so, so happy you responded to the lonelies' confusion. and so dissapointed at how few appreciated it."

I am in awe of your praxis abilities Lincoln.

Wow
posted by Lincøln on March 28th, 2008 12:05 PM

Thanks to all of you who show løve with votes.

(no subject)
posted by Dax Tran-Caffee on March 28th, 2008 12:07 PM

Props to Loki, Herbie, Mr. G, Meredithian, and all those who have turned out exceptional tasks so far...

But this, dear Lincoln, is the first truly amazing task of the Era. It has taken three months, but now I think the real bar is set. Any takers?

(Anna One and Lowteck, is this really the best you could do? - those moustaches are tiny!)

(no subject)
posted by SNORLAX on March 28th, 2008 1:02 PM

yay!

(no subject)
posted by Adam on March 28th, 2008 1:24 PM

So much about this task I LOVE!

The fact that someone thought they could get away with the name "rick mclovin". See Superbad.

The irony of someone sending you this "I think the reason you get flagged is because men don't believe a beautiful woman could want no strings attached sex without some sort of catch. They figure you to be a pic collector."

The obvious fact this guy has a tiny, tiny penis.
main_fer46920.jpg

And also the fact I've decided who I would choose if I was an attractive woman. It would be the nice looking guy who said: "If you're up for motorcycle rides, trips out of town, creative sexual adventures, good wine, shows & too much fun, say hi. I'm in Silver Lake. C""

I love love love love love this completion.

Probably my favourite task of all time. No joke.

(no subject)
posted by Scienceguru on March 28th, 2008 4:03 PM

"You stalk us and yet you refuse to reveal yourself while studying us more and more. Are you that scared of your Self?"

So is your point that Mr. Lincoln revealed himself to the objects of his study? He pretended to be something other than what he was, sent a cryptic response, and then responded to feedback by telling the dudes he was trying to make them feel less lonely. Does that make him scared of himself?

Perhaps *I* am collating your responses for posting on another website somewhere.

Did it ever occur to you that you might be the objects, rather than the subjects?




(no subject)
posted by Flitworth on March 28th, 2008 6:45 PM

Bex: I'm insanely jealous. A good half of my planned return to the states will revolve around whether I can hit some place Scroobius is playing en route.

(no subject)
posted by JTony Loves Brains on March 28th, 2008 7:25 PM

I live to be your object, scienceguru!

(no subject)
posted by Burn Unit on March 29th, 2008 12:29 PM

That's the first thing you've said that makes me feel awesome, Ms. SG, keep it up!

"Are you the matrix?!"

dedication
posted by rongo rongo on March 29th, 2008 9:10 PM

Your dedication is astonishing, and the collection of responses is fascinating.

PS, I recently (for work!) had to send the same email to a huge list of people, but filling in an individualized piece of info for each person's note. Should you ever need to do something like this again, I can tell you how to use MS Word's mail merge feature, along with a spreadsheet, and email program like Eudora to do it a lot faster.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on March 29th, 2008 9:14 PM

Like I said, I'm not too friendly with the computers, and I know I could've asked, but I really wanted to do this alone.

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on April 8th, 2008 12:36 PM

Yeah, I definitely agree that for this task, going it alone and doing it the hard way made it extra special...but if you ever have to do it again, the novelty of handcrafting the emails might have worn off. Though doing something crazy twice is actually more than two times as crazy as doing it once, so I don't know.

Vote for the boobs?
posted by Rather Dashing on April 21st, 2008 1:41 PM

lincoln, you never cease to amaze and inspire. Also.... wow. This looked like a whole lot of fun to undertake. The first time i've wanted to vote multiple times.