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avidd opolis
Level 3: 263 points
Alltime Score: 8387 points
Last Logged In: January 4th, 2017
BADGE: Journey To The End Of The Night BADGE: INTERREGNUM TEAM: Group Creation Public Badge TEAM: Team Shplank TEAM: San Francisco Zero TEAM: Public Library Zero Humanitarian Crisis Rank 1: Peacekeeper Chrononautic Exxon Rank 1: Clockwatcher Society For Nihilistic Intent And Disruptive Efforts Rank 1: Anti

25 + 292 points

Trespassing by avidd opolis

April 3rd, 2008 11:35 AM

INSTRUCTIONS: Go somewhere you are not allowed to go.

Sometimes trespassing is not a matter of where you go, but of who you are. I'm friends with Ambassador Chrusov of Soviet Unterzoegersdorf, the final proud Soviet state in existence. Even though the imperialists have declared the cold war over, surely they would not let Soviets near sensitive military targets!!
They reserve this plane for people like us:

We began our road trip in Austin, TX. We got the hell out of Texas as fast as possible, getting pulled over twice along the way. I woke up in the parking lot of the IHOP in Roswell, NM. We heard there may have been a government coverup of alien technology, so we decided to do a little archeology - Soviet Style.

Unfortunately we found nothing in this field across from the state police and BLM HQ.

unfazed and unarrested we headed to the Very Large Array
On the way we found a lone shop selling Trinitite. No way would the Americans sell us radioactive material!

Well, they did. As Marx said "A capitalist will sell you the rope with which you will hang him"!
oh, and I bought a 1960's geiger counter.

The VLA was a model of capitalist engineering, but their security was lazy. In fact, there didn't seem to be any!

Next stop, Biosphere. Talk about a secure compound, they don't even let air or water get in our out!
And yet behold!

The geiger counter is jumping a little.

Having done all the needed espionage like stuff, we headed to our prime target: the Titan II missile silo and aviation museum outside of Tucson, AZ. The US spent millions of 1960's dollars keeping their atomic weapons secure from the soviets. Let's put them to the test:
This was a sign in the gift shop of the Missile Silo, which housed a 9 megaton hydrogen bomb

No joke.
Anyhow, we put on disguises to blend in and get inside the control room.

For the Win!

Take that, you capitalist Vatrushkas!

After making a daring escape with the launch codes, we made this instructional video

March proudly forward, commrades!

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61 vote(s)

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18 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by susy derkins on April 3rd, 2008 12:08 PM

OK, now this is professional tasking. Whoa.

(no subject)
posted by .thatskarobot on April 3rd, 2008 2:17 PM


There's this bar, right?

sometimes, people set it so high, it's unreachable...

My motherland!
posted by Bex. on April 3rd, 2008 2:25 PM

As an ambassador to AZØ (not affiliated with the government of Arizona), I present you with this medal of honor for your brave explorations our our scary-ass millitary complexes.

(plus brilliant film with barfing russian lolcats ftw! If there ever was a shplank, this is it.

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on April 3rd, 2008 3:02 PM

Very, very Shplanked. *returns to hiatus*

(no subject)
posted by avidd opolis on April 3rd, 2008 7:07 PM

gee, thanks bex!

(no subject)
posted by Fonne Tayne on April 3rd, 2008 7:44 PM

MEIN GOTT ! ! WIN ! ! !

(no subject)
posted by anna one on April 3rd, 2008 11:35 PM

That movie-film was spectacularistic.

gud hat!
posted by Raymond Luxury Yacht on April 5th, 2008 11:32 AM

oh oh oh hooray for the awesome! i want that to be my "walking around" theme song.

Testament to your awesome.
posted by Bex. on April 5th, 2008 12:20 PM

Whoa, you guys reactived Connor! As if we didn't have enough reason to love it.

(no subject)
posted by Scienceguru on April 8th, 2008 12:27 PM

You were entertaining about it, but you didn't go anywhere you're not allowed to go.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on April 8th, 2008 12:30 PM

I agree with scienceguru and almost didn't vote for that reason, but wound up voting just for the theatricality of it all.
Vote for theater.

Well you see SciencGuru… -1
posted by Praxis on April 8th, 2008 12:53 PM

Well you see SciencGuru…
This is our game and we play it however we like to.
You don't play so you wouldn't understand.
I don't think you would much like Calvinball either.
You were a wallflower at your school's socials weren't you.
So was I, but eventually I outgrew that by learning to dance in my own way.

(no subject)
posted by Scienceguru on April 8th, 2008 2:44 PM

Nope, lol.

Always was an excellent dancer. And way too cool to go to anything called a "school social". I preferred night clubs with my illegal ID. :>

(no subject)
posted by avidd opolis on April 9th, 2008 4:44 PM

@scienceguru, if you need literal trespassing, i'm pretty sure we were not supposed to be riding the sidewinder missile or crawling on the lunar lander...

(no subject)
posted by Westley on April 9th, 2008 4:58 PM

Statist communists trespassing in the free world is serious enough a flaunting of the rules as I've seen in praxis. You're lucky you didn't trespass when I was keeping watch.

I would've challenged you to a match of wits - to the death. And you would have died.

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on April 9th, 2008 5:22 PM

Oh, Westley, you valiant trivette you.

(no subject)
posted by Kid A on April 14th, 2008 10:31 AM

I tried, I really really did. I sat, I thought, I debated, I analyzed from different mindsets.

The production, the theatre, it's great, seriously. It's an epic creation worthy of praise. It's interesting, astounding, and the entire Soviet Unterzoegersdorf project that has been going on for a while now is amazing and impressive. I assert this all with the utmost of respect.

But in the end, it's just theatre. There is no monumental trespassing, physically or psychologically. It just doesn't fit for this task.

(no subject)
posted by Turk Fezzik on April 30th, 2008 1:07 PM

But they walked past a sign that says "No Trespassing by Government"!