Sometimes trespassing is not a matter of where you go, but of who you are. I'm friends with Ambassador Chrusov of Soviet Unterzoegersdorf
, the final proud Soviet state in existence. Even though the imperialists have declared the cold war over, surely they would not let Soviets near sensitive military targets!!
They reserve this plane for people like us:
We began our road trip in Austin, TX. We got the hell out of Texas as fast as possible, getting pulled over twice along the way. I woke up in the parking lot of the IHOP in Roswell, NM. We heard there may have been a government coverup of alien technology, so we decided to do a little archeology - Soviet Style.
Unfortunately we found nothing in this field across from the state police and BLM HQ.
unfazed and unarrested we headed to the Very Large Array
On the way we found a lone shop selling Trinitite. No way would the Americans sell us radioactive material!
Well, they did. As Marx said "A capitalist will sell you the rope with which you will hang him"!
oh, and I bought a 1960's geiger counter.
The VLA was a model of capitalist engineering, but their security was lazy. In fact, there didn't seem to be any!
Next stop, Biosphere. Talk about a secure compound, they don't even let air or water get in our out!
And yet behold!
The geiger counter is jumping a little.
Having done all the needed espionage like stuff, we headed to our prime target: the Titan II missile silo and aviation museum outside of Tucson, AZ. The US spent millions of 1960's dollars keeping their atomic weapons secure from the soviets. Let's put them to the test:
This was a sign in the gift shop of the Missile Silo, which housed a 9 megaton hydrogen bomb
Anyhow, we put on disguises to blend in and get inside the control room.
For the Win!
Take that, you capitalist Vatrushkas!
After making a daring escape with the launch codes, we made this instructional video
March proudly forward, commrades!