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75 + 195 points

SFZEROSAT by GYØ Ben, Adam, Lincøln, Lank, Dax Tran-Caffee, Fonne Tayne, anna one, Optical Dave, SNORLAX, Burn Unit

April 27th, 2008 8:45 AM

INSTRUCTIONS: Make a standardized test for other SFZero players to take. It should include a numeric metric for judging their achievement. Get at least three players to take it and include their results in your praxis.

"... it was actually fun."
-- Burn Unit

"... quite interesting."
-- Terpsichore

"... a frustrating hour down the drain."
-- Anonymous


Donate to the cause! - Hey, it was worth a shot.
I must start off by saying a big, big...

Thank you!

... to all the participants of the SFZEROSAT. Without your help, this would not have been as awesome.

But back to formality:

The SFØ STANDARDIZED EXAMINATION (SFZEROSAT) was devised by GYØ Ben over a period of about 2 weeks, tweaking here and there afterwards. A page of questions was also donated to the cause by GYØ Adam. Lowteck handled some of the publishing costs, and for that he is in the GYØ Big Book of Awesome.

The actual test is available as a .pdf at the end of this praxis, but for now, enjoy your boasting (or maybe not):


84 players volunteered / were conscripted to take part in the test, I received 28 papers back, and here is their ranking (the top eight in terms of score were collaborated on the task):

#1: BURN UNIT - 84.5%
#2: LINCOLN - 77.5%
#3: LANK - 72%
#4: DAX TRAN-CAFFEE - 71.5%
#5: ZEMALUCO - 69.5%
#6: anna one - 69%
#7: Flash Harry - 64.5%
#8: lowteck - 63.5%

#9: GYØ Tom - 55.5%
#10: Charlie Fish - 51%
#11: Colonel Mustard - 50.5%
#12: The Actor - 49%
=12: Susy Derkins - 49%
#14: rongo rongo - 45.5%
=14: Haberley Mead - 45.5%
#16: Secret Agent - 45%
#17: Cyber Kitty - 42%
#18: annnna - 39.5%
=18: JJason - 39.5%
#20: Terpsichore - 35%
#21: Heatherlynn - 33%
#22: GYØ Adam - 32%
#23: Quirk Of Nature - 31.5%
#24: inquisitive dragonfly - 30%
#25: GYØ Daryl - 25%
#26: GYØ Neil - 9%
#27: Secret Agent Squigs - 8%
#28: GYØ Askew - 5%



- The highest ranking SF player was, of course, Lank, but was just pipped to the post.
- The highest ranking UK player was Flash Harry, in 5th place, with an impressive 65.5%. An award also goes to Flash Harry for being the person to use the words "strange" and "weird" the most in one SFZEROSAT examination, with an impressive 5 "weird"s and 6 "strange"s.

- Year of join date averages:

1st: 2006 - 64.125%
2nd: 2008 - 48.6%
3rd: 2007 - 42%

- Glasnost group averages:

1st: U of A - 49.27%
2nd: BART - 49.125%
3rd: No group (wasn't in Glasnost) - 48.6%
4th: HC - 45.5%
5th: Biome - 40.25%
6th: Equivalenz - 29.5%

So, Equivalenz stuck at the bottom again, which is a shame. Then again, it was only Charlie Fish and Squigs making that average.

- Favourite colour averages (from the information I gathered):

Yellow - 84.5%
White - 64.5%
Red - 51%
Grey - 45%
Green - 42.167%
Black - 40.833%
Purple - 40.25%

- Join date against score

Now, for this, I expected there to be a massive skew toward [the earlier you join, the more points you are going to get] - but I was wrong. Dax and Flash Harry tipped the scales by being the most new (*cough* Villain) players to join the game, and coming in 3rd and 6th, respectively, and the oldest player to take the test, annnna, coming in 16th.

- US vs UK

Sorry guys, we lost! They beat us by a considerable margin. Well played, America. Well played.

UK: 36.9444%
US: 50.6111%

If you have any more burning questions to ask regarding the statistical results, do not hesitate to ask!


The highest scoring suggested group was... joint wins with Charlie Fish's "Imps", annnna's "Public Infrastructure Fixer Upper Group" and JJason's "Institute For Reality Study" with 8 out of a possible 10 marks each.


Here are the answers to the questions, you can open the .pdf document below and go down, checking off which ones you got right, and kicking yourself for the ones you missed.

i) Lincoln
ii) lowteck
iii) Lank (half mark would be given for The Villain)
b) decided by how awesome/relevant the pictures were

a) Level 5
b) 3040
c) 2 marks for mentioning the three ways of playing already stated; 1 mark for drawing conclusions between the three; 1 mark for mentioning a method of playing not already stated; final mark for a "wow" factor

9/9 - 5 marks
7 or 8/9 - 4 marks
5 or 6/9 - 3 marks
3 or 4/9 - 2 marks
2/9 - 1 mark
0 or 1/9 - 0 marks

Ian Kizu-Blair = Humanitarian Crisis
Sean Mahan = Biome
GYØ Daryl = Biome
Dr Subtle = University of Aesthematics
meta tron = BART PA
Darkaardvark = University of Aesthematics
The Revolutionary = Humanitarian Crisis
GYØ Ben = Equivalenz
b) marks decided by how well portrayed the finished product was

a) California
b) SFØ Roadtrip
c) Earth Song (half mark given for "Tuning Fork" mentioned)
d) St. Stephen's Tower
e) Hot air balloon
f) Capitol Records Tower
g) Jerusalem, Israel
h) Any three from: Tiny Clanger, Sue Taylor, Gill Smith, Chris, Brett, James, George, Storer, Jordan, Vicki, Watmuff, Katie, Elliot, Askew, Neil, Jason, another Chris, Kieran, Zoë
i) Any three from: Spidere, Kprime, Eccoglyph, FZ!, Momotiki, Nan O'Fith, Doodle Maier, Mike Hellstrom, Flying Duckmonster, Shannon, Mudlock, Jayna Dubrey

i) Cameron
ii) Spidere
iii) BlueberryMascarpone
iv) Yellowbear
b) Jeremy Cezanne
anna one
Rainbow Bright
[Bigglesworth] - sort of a trick question

a) 1 mark for name, 1 mark for colour, 3 marks for trajectory, 2 marks for logo, 3 marks for anything extra or particularly awesome
b) 1 mark for title, 1 mark for group, 3 marks based on rating of how good the task is

piratey monkey
Oliver X


Charlie Fish
Burn Unit
GYØ Adam
Rongo rongo
Burn Unit

a) Ian Kizu-Blair
b) anna one
c) Darkaardvark

One mark per valid reason, or total out of 5 marks for something particularly cool



The envelopes that people sent stuff in were pretty damn awesome, just check out these ones! There's also one by The Actor that I can't lay my hands on at this moment in time, but I will post it should I find it.

Susy Derkins

As a bribe, Susy Derkins sent me a big envelope full of Mexican candy. There are also these packets of salty powder, that go sweet, then sour, then salty again. ITS DOORS ALBUMS IN A PACKET. Craziness. We are scared of the Mexican candy.

Margin defacing

The Actor
took it upon himself to cut and stick the lyrics of The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air down the margin... just to disobey the rules. And JJason did this:


was entered into the contest via anna one... and ended up beating Askew by sheer creative talent.

One Cent

I got sent two lots of One Cent praxis from the players. Great idea, guys!

Vena's sampler

Vena Nightmare
sent me an amazing sampler of my username. It is now my tasking sampler. You will see it in all future praxes.


The proof photos contain some highlights that I personally like from the test.


"Standardized tests have always come easily to me, so this one was pretty straightforward.

There were a couple things I didn't remember or had to totally guess at--like members of other-cities-zero, or who was in what group, or the exact order of the leaderboard. I've always looked at the leaderboard probably more than is healthy for a person, so I really feel like I know that. But when it came down to it, I had to stare real hard at those blanks on the test.

I tried to spice it up by recording myself taking the test in real time--and to prove I wasn't cheating-- and about 35 minutes into it my camera shut off and it crashed or something because I couldn't get the video out of it. That wold have been pretty funny. Especially my diagram of the groups, which wound up being a mess because I tried to remember all the stuff I'd said about it into the camera and write them down on the sheet.

The subjective parts were pretty fun -- making tasks, making groups, drawing pictures. I kind of ran out of time on the last question so I drew something hasty there. Like you guys said in the podcast, I've been around a while, not to mention I spend a lot of time on the site and I have a good memory for small trivial details. So I'm going to know this stuff pretty darn well. I think I'll stack up.

In any case, the difficulty of the exam wasn't ever a concern, I'm just glad it was actually fun." -- Burn Unit

"My mummy says you better give me a good mark or she'll f***ing 'ave you." -- Charlie Fish

"Well, what can I say? I think Ben deserves a standing ovation from all of SF0 for the sheer amount of drive he has put into this Task. You can tell that the test was made with love, and distributed with great determination. After the work that has gone into this, it seems as though the paper of every exam is inlaid with his blood, sweat, toil and tears... actually, it's a wonder it got through customs and excise smelling like that.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who's going to say this, but that Test was piggin' difficult! Even for the grizzled veterans of the site, but especially for players like myself, who had only joined in the past few months. That being said, he did a fantastic job in returning me to the days of my GCSEs, in both good and bad ways. A marvellous Task, expertly done – its things like this that remind why I love this game so much." -- Haberley Mead

"it was quite an interesting exerience. i generally dislike taking tests to begin with, especially ones in the same vein as the SAT (i find them to be an inaccurate way of measuring a person's knowledge on a subject), and i must say that this was no exception. i chose to take it, however, because i thought it was an ingenious way of getting people to take a look around the website and a great collaborative task that would, in a way, unite players throughout
the nation. i also enjoyed that you included the section about what sf0 means to us. all in all, it was a very well written and thorough exam. thanks for making it!
" -- Terpsichore

" I think the only thing that puzzled me about the test was that it wasn't multiple choice! Most of our standard tests here do tend to be that way.

It would be been quite entertaining to run one of the Latent Semantic Analysis algorithms that they use for machine grading standardized test essays on these, but I guess the test people probably keep those algorithms strictly secret. (Another thought I had was that it would have been entertaining to have a magazine style quiz - you know, "what is your SF0 style" or something that tries to tell you something about your personality by asking what sort of ice cream you prefer.)" -- rongo rongo

"The problem was that you made a test that very quickly made new members of SF0 feel alienated and ignorant, making the test much less of an entertaining endeavor and instead a frustrating hour down the drain." -- Anonymous


Page 3: Question c) should not have a question mark.
On three of the exams, page 10 has an extra "]" placed randomly within the word "one".
Ben is thick: He didn't realise that the leaderboard changed over time, so question 7 should read "at the end of the era, who were the top 5 players?" or something similar. A mark was given per sensible answer on that question, because I messed up, sorry guys.


- The entire layout was based on a mock science paper from Ben's school.
- The entire cost at Ben's end came to £64.85 (around $75 postage + $50 for ink). If you'd like to make a donation, click here.
- On the LocalCityZero page, there was a question about NYØ not being an official CityZero. Then a week later, it was made official. This question was quickly redacted.
- Adam's task "Dance, Maggot, Dance" from the SFZEROSAT paper then got accepted a few days later as Insect Choreographer.
- All your suggested tasks you created for question 6b have been submitted with credit given to you.


Well. Thanks again, and I look forward to more epic tasking with you soon.

Uber-praxis over.

+ larger

Title Picture :D
GYØ Adam
rongo rongo
Charlie Fish
Quirk Of Nature
Dax and Terpsichore
Susy Derkins
Group against score
Join date against score
White and yellow way out
US vs UK
Mexican candy
One Cent
Charlie Fish
Cthulhu Kitty
inquisitive dragonfly
Quirk Of Nature
new player photos
proposed tasks
peanut gallery
playing for
Lincoln's flowchart
Charlie Fish Q1
Cthulhu Kitty Q1
Heatherlynn Q1
GYØ Askew Q1
Squigs Q1
GYØ Neil Q1
GYØ Daryl Q1
inquisitive dragonfly Q1
JJason Q1
Terpsichore Q1
annnna Q1
Haberley Mead Q1
rongo rongo Q1
susy derkins Q1
The Actor Q1
CMTheGonzalez Q1
GYØ Tom Q1
anna one Q1
zemaluco Q1
Dax Q1
Lincoln Q1
Flash Harry Q1
Quirk Of Nature Q1
GYØ Adam Q1
Secret Agent Q1
Lank Q1

39 vote(s)

Favorite of:


science, knowledge

72 comment(s)

(no subject) +1
posted by Jellybean of Thark on April 27th, 2008 9:26 AM

Those Michelitos, yikes! I don't know that I'd call them a bribe so much as an implied threat.

(no subject) +2
posted by Lincøln on April 27th, 2008 9:27 AM


A Winner is me!

(no subject) +2
posted by Lincøln on April 27th, 2008 9:49 AM

And Ben you're a good actor. All of this time in all of these talks, you kept telling me that I might make the top ten, maybe. And talking about all of the people who did really really well. I didn't think I'd make the cut at all.

(no subject) +1
posted by GYØ Ben on April 27th, 2008 9:54 AM

I didn't know until this morning, actually, when I actually got around to marking your test paper...

So it wasn't acting.

(no subject) +2
posted by JTony Loves Brains on April 27th, 2008 10:37 AM

So what Ben is saying, Lincoln, is that in spite of your actual score he thinks you're a loser.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on April 27th, 2008 10:39 AM

Join the club Ben.

(no subject) +1
posted by JJason Recognition on April 27th, 2008 9:33 AM

It's nice to see that somebody else wrote down a bunch of random names for some of the answers.

And come on, cut Margin Blanks some slack.

(no subject) +6
posted by Margin Blanks on April 27th, 2008 9:52 AM


(no subject) +1
posted by Lincøln on April 27th, 2008 9:50 AM

Also, I'd LOVE to see WAY more random answers from the tests, especially some of Dax's drawings...

(no subject)
posted by JJason Recognition on April 27th, 2008 11:12 AM

Me too. Heck, I'd like to see some of high scoring answers too. I'm curious about highest scoring groups and not just because I want to show off the group I came up with that you liked.

count me in this group +1
posted by Burn Unit on May 2nd, 2008 12:40 PM

I know it's more work for somebody on hiatus but I think we all want to see what each other did. I have mine as a pdf of course. Is there a way to get more of the content of people's answers? for amusement, &c.?

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on May 2nd, 2008 12:42 PM

Well, us top scorers can add our answers to the proof now that we have editing power...

us top scorers! *high five*
posted by Burn Unit on May 2nd, 2008 1:28 PM

well yeah; I also mean more of everyone else...

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 2:19 PM

I'll begin to scan in people's work tomorrow, okay? Well, BU and lowteck can upload theirs directly, but I'll work on other people's.


(no subject)
posted by GYØ Vicki on April 27th, 2008 9:50 AM

"You will see it in all future praxes"

So the end isn't nigh?

(no subject)
posted by Tøm on April 27th, 2008 9:53 AM

I said that!

He gave away no information.

Are you coming on Skype? Podcast?

(no subject)
posted by teucer on April 27th, 2008 10:31 AM

I'm amused that I got added to all the random names. I guess I'm memorable?

(no subject) +1
posted by JTony Loves Brains on April 27th, 2008 10:39 AM

You do seem kind of familiar.

(no subject)
posted by Dax Tran-Caffee on April 28th, 2008 6:51 PM

I really hope this gets me into SFØ College with some good government financial aid. It was sure a harrowing ritual to have to go through.

(no subject)
posted by JJason Recognition on April 29th, 2008 5:44 AM

I, on the other hand, will probably have to go to SFØ Kaplan.

(no subject)
posted by Adam on April 29th, 2008 5:50 AM

Don't worry, Im going to SFØ Metropolitan Polytechnic.

(no subject) +1
posted by Jellybean of Thark on April 28th, 2008 8:43 PM

Oh man, ninth place... I don't wanna go to Soho Project Tech, that's a party school!

(no subject)
posted by .thatskarobot on April 29th, 2008 12:31 AM



(no subject) +1
posted by Adam on April 29th, 2008 3:48 AM

Blank out the address. It's not the done thing to post it publically.

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on April 29th, 2008 1:13 PM

Yes, that's it! Awesome, is it not?

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 2:48 PM

See that? That is some good address blanking.

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on April 30th, 2008 11:51 AM

Updates! With lowteck's score added.

Damn mail services.

(no subject)
posted by Iaman on April 30th, 2008 11:08 PM

I fully intend to mail mine back to you, but I currently cannot locate it and cannot pay for postage. But it will reach you eventually, mark my words!

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 8:49 AM

Right, because of the mail services, BU and lowteck have both messaged to say that they DID in fact send theirs out a long time ago, so I have added them to the official list (this was before the 1st May FINAL FINAL deadline).

However, after the addition of Burn Unit, I've had no further messages. So it's going to stay like this from now on.

I am still accepting papers, but they now will not affect the final score chart.

posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 9:41 AM

And they've changed the entire outcome of the praxis.

(no subject) +1
posted by Fonne Tayne on May 2nd, 2008 11:46 AM


(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 2:17 PM

... yes?

(no subject) +1
posted by Fonne Tayne on May 2nd, 2008 8:00 PM

... qua?

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 3rd, 2008 3:50 AM

... ‽

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on May 2nd, 2008 10:23 AM

Burn Unit is a rock star!

(no subject) +1
posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 10:27 AM

Burn Unit is crazy.

(no subject) +1
posted by Fonne Tayne on May 2nd, 2008 8:00 PM

*only when he has methadone.

(no subject) +1
posted by SNORLAX on May 2nd, 2008 11:47 AM

i cant believe i messed up on the doorhenge question

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 11:50 AM

Me neither. You'd have been joint 7th if you'd have recalled that correctly.


(no subject) +2
posted by Fonne Tayne on May 2nd, 2008 2:08 PM

i'd made an argument that there were only ten of us.

(no subject) +2
posted by bigglesworth on May 2nd, 2008 2:14 PM


(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 2nd, 2008 2:16 PM

I go by the collaboration list. Besides, zemaluco - we all know bigglesworth is the brains behind the operation, controlling all those h00manz to put doors in a circle.

... or was that p00n?

(no subject) +1
posted by Fonne Tayne on May 2nd, 2008 4:46 PM

hm. poon for the people was there when we failed with a battery-powered drill to erect even one door.


(no subject)
posted by anna one on May 2nd, 2008 7:54 PM

You're absolutely right Ben, Bigglesworth is the brains behind everything.

(no subject) +2
posted by Lank on May 2nd, 2008 8:13 PM

Bigglesworth is also the CUTE behind everything!


Bigglesworth vs. Lunch!

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on May 3rd, 2008 2:50 AM

Was I the only one to look at that and read "Bigglesworth vs. Lincoln"?

Lincoln would always win ;)

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on May 3rd, 2008 8:28 AM

Um, no.

Lincoln would lose any cute off against Bigglesworth.

(no subject) +1
posted by Lincøln on May 3rd, 2008 8:55 AM

We actually had that contest a couple weeks ago, but the combined intellectual strength of Lowteck and myself couldn't figure out how a cute-off could fit into a praxis. And because of that our documentation was lackluster.

Bigglesworth did, indeed win.

Outcute this muthfuckas. +2
posted by Puddin' Head on May 29th, 2008 9:38 AM


(no subject) +2
posted by GYØ Ben on May 30th, 2008 12:02 PM


(no subject)
posted by salad fingers on May 4th, 2008 3:29 AM

"Stop scratching your basket belly" said Mary Mandolin...

(no subject)
posted by Quirk of Nature on May 7th, 2008 5:06 PM

nice work, ben. way to achieve.

(no subject) +2
posted by SNORLAX on May 27th, 2008 4:38 PM

whats with the rampant sockpuppet voting? enough of that shit.

aside form annoying us, you're making more unnecessary work for the creators of SF0.

(no subject)
posted by Tøm on May 27th, 2008 4:42 PM

Damn straight.

(no subject) +2
posted by Burn Unit on May 27th, 2008 6:32 PM

I agree. Not that I have anything against sock-puppets per se. Some of my best friends are sock puppets. But these days it seems like sock puppets don't know how to behave themselves. Uppity sock puppets are getting to be a problem.

Perhaps it's time to restrict voting and flagging to those who've completed at least one task beyond the player photo?

(no subject)
posted by Sparrows Fall on May 27th, 2008 6:40 PM

Or maybe just completing the player photo? None of the sockpuppets who've been in these voting waves have even had photos.

(no subject)
posted by teucer on May 27th, 2008 6:42 PM

I'm inclined to agree with the "one task beyond player photo" version, since it's far too easy for somebody to just grab a random image off the web for player photo. It could even be automated.

(Hell, isn't that what most sock puppet player photos are?)

(no subject) +1
posted by Sock Puppets on May 27th, 2008 9:47 PM

Sock Puppets do not like to be photographed.
Sock Puppets do not like to complete tasks.

I can't believe I missed both participating and the posting of this praxis! +2
posted by Bex. on May 29th, 2008 9:19 AM

"Bex: Supposed to be a comet, not a vagina."

Story of my life...

I wanna see more of people's drawings of me!

(no subject) +1
posted by GYØ Ben on May 30th, 2008 11:51 AM

UPDATES! There we go, Bex, an hour's worth of scanning and captioning for you. And Burn Unit.

And that was just page one. Jeez.

(no subject) +2
posted by Jellybean of Thark on May 30th, 2008 11:57 AM

The task that keeps on giving.

Thanks, Ben.

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on May 30th, 2008 12:49 PM

It's interesting that Heatherlynn and JJason had similar takes on Lara Black.

Wahoo! +2
posted by Spidere on June 1st, 2008 1:09 AM

Bonus pictures, hurrah! Thanks, Bex! Thanks, Ben! Thanks, everyone who made drawings!

(no subject) +2
posted by Loki on June 1st, 2008 12:42 PM

The people have spoken, and they seem to want Rubin to switch to Avidd's player photo.

Bex as string of pearls, Laura Black as either a windmill or a space-based prism, and CharlieFish as a burning match or TNT all take the prize for somehow being perfectly in character yet unlike existing player photos.

(no subject) +1
posted by GYØ Ben on June 2nd, 2008 3:38 AM

More pages coming soon, when I either have the patience to go through each paper, scanning in everything, or if I can rope someone else in to assist me, or possibly finding a quick way of doing all this.

(no subject) +1
posted by Lincøln on June 2nd, 2008 3:46 AM

Get Adam to do it. He's collabed on the task, make him earn it.

(no subject) -1
posted by Adam on June 2nd, 2008 4:14 AM

I would have done but I don't have a scanner.

(no subject) +1
posted by Lincøln on June 2nd, 2008 4:15 AM

Use Ben's.

(no subject)
posted by Adam on June 2nd, 2008 4:48 AM

Surely it makes more sense for Ben to use Ben's. I have to catch a bus to the other side of town.

(no subject) +1
posted by GYØ Ben on June 2nd, 2008 8:01 AM

Firstly, bull. shit. I could walk to your house in 15 minutes.

Second, it's not a big town, are you really that lazy that you have to take a bus?

(no subject)
posted by Adam on June 2nd, 2008 2:15 PM

Firstly, that doesn't make it not the otherside of town

Secondly, yes I am that lazy.

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on August 22nd, 2008 7:09 AM

Proven, it takes 50 minutes to walk to Adam's house and back. Tried, tested.