Campaign Trail by Lank
May 7th, 2008 8:35 PM / Location: 37.779237,-122.4192
). You may then select a congressional committee and subcommitte (
photo by BLUESFØ hasn't had a new senator in far too long. Isn't it about time to give the old guard of the Senate an infusion of new energy?
Here is what I offer:
As Senator, I will fight for YOU. Yes, YOU! Wherever your interest lies, be it in bringing on Ragnarok, defending against the rise of the robots, abolishing broccoli, promoting nudity, silencing toaster squirrels, growing epic moustaches, waking Cthulhu - WHATEVER - I will represent you. I will be a vocal supporter for your cause, to the SFØ community, and to the world.
Try me. Send me a message and let me know what cause you wish to further, and watch the results.
Then, vote your heart.
photo by BLUEAbout Me:
I've been a part of the SFØ community for approximately one year now, having joined during the Glasnost Era. I was originally a proud member of the University of Aesthematics, and, being an Angelino at the time, one of the progenitors of what would later become LAØ. Before long I relocated to San Francisco and nestled in under the protective radio waves of Sutro Tower. Later a co-creator of S.N.I.D.E., I've recently enjoyed the freedom of multilateral tasking and with this freedom I've found joy in the BartPA. As I look back, I see that many of my previous UofA task completions were significantly informed by the BartPA ideology.
Politically, it may be said that I've been all over the map. Notably, I've protested the financially cumbersome Hills of San Francisco, I've come out strongly in support of meat, and I am Rubin. I understand that this may be confusing for voters, but you can rest assured that I make no quick decisions - that I am a proponent of ample discussion when it comes to important topics. Yes, too much talk can be futile. I realize that sometimes alternative means of communication are necessary, and sometimes that means no talking, or no words at all.
I'm no stranger to failure, but I'm no stranger to win, either. I'm not afraid of hard work, asking dumb questions, or exploring places to which I've never been. I will go the distance, wherever that may be, and in whatever garb is necessary to go there. I have looked in the face of shadow, darkness, horror, decay, and even annoyance in my SFØ career, and have risen to the challenge, even when blindfolded. In fact, the only time I've been asleep on the job was in the name of amazing tasking.
photo by BLUEIf elected, I will strive to keep SFØ the fun and safe place we have all come to love. It's a global community united by good hygiene, light conservation, and testing (among other things), open to all kinds of spirituality, where poetry, science and madness can co-exist without contradiction. SFØ is a gift, wrapped in the paper of a mad holiday, based on fun.
I want to put the ROCK back in bureaucracy! Let's work together to see the growth of a bigger, better future for SFØ.
I am grateful for your vote. And thank you for your kind attention.
Happy Tasking!
43 vote(s)
- YellowBear
- Burn Unit
- SNORLAX
- help im a bear
- Lincøln
- Spidere
- Blue
- Not Here No More
- Dok's Sock
- Herbie Hatman
- JTony Loves Brains
- Scarlett
- Malaysian Eddy
- Loki
- Tøm
- Haberley Mead
- Sparrows Fall
- Adam
- Joshua A. Norton
- Optical Dave
- Magpie
- JJason Recognition
- GYØ Ben
- Bjørn Teuleuse
- teh Lolbrarian
- done
- Myrna Minx
- Flea
- praximity
- meredithian
- rongo rongo
- Darkaardvark
- Dela Dejavoo
- Ink Tea
- Julian Muffinbot
- Secret Agent
- zer0gee
- lara black
- GYØ Daryl
- Minch
- Evil Sugar
- Cakelyn
- susy derkins
Favorite of:
Terms
(none yet)94 comment(s)
I'm glad you asked me, Doktor. I believe that robots are misunderstood. Most are not equipped with high functioning capacity for verbal communication with humans. And yet, they require old people's medicine for fuel. Faced with this dilemma in programming, most robots have turned to attacking seniors. The fault lies not with the individual robot, but with that robot's programmer. Unless the robot has AI. In which case, a massive human-robot battle is inevitable. And I hope the robots do not win. I've watched the Matrix Trilogy too many times. Which is two. Two times.
So you're opposed to sentient robots, then?
Also: Matrix trilogy? Do you accept the blasphemous idea that sequels exist?
I, like Lank, have watched the second and third installments of the series a number of times, and while at first I had many problems with them, on repeated viewings I came to understand and find the awesome in them. Especially the second.
It is also a good example of what may happen if we let the robots run rampant.
I think I feel the way many of you do in regard to robots. They can be helpful and nifty, and with the proper programming can even be our friends. But as soon as a robot, or any other being, poses a threat to me, my home, or my community, I will fight tooth and nail to defend what I cherish.
As for those sequels, I have both on DVD. They were gifts, no lie.
Although I cannot dispute that this is a very vague possibility, I have yet to see any indication that any of my family members are indeed robots. I will be sure to look into this, though.
Your giant skinny frame in a full suit striding directly toward the camera is actually a little terrifying
The other people in that picture? Don't let the perspective fool you. They're actually standing right next to me. And they're the normal-sized ones.
strike that, above... after trigonometric calculatory equationing, he's actually eight foot eight inches.
This is unquestionably the best Senatorial campaign I have yet seen. I wholeheartedly endorse this candidate and can't wait to serve the needs of SFØ alongside him.
I wonder how long it will be before the Senators themselves have enough votes to elect new Senators...
But as the robot issue is one on which the present senate is divided, no candidate will be able to win over both the pro-robot senators and the anti-robot ones.
Sorry, Lank, but voting for you would be a betrayal of my good friend Autobot 2000.
He's not anti robot. He (I'm assuming), like me, is merely anti robot world domination. Like I've said, I have really good friends that are robots. I'm anti robot world domination. I'm also anti monkey world domination.
If he's not prepared to make a pro-AI statement then I must, as a matter of principle, cast votes only by means of obvious sock puppets.
I loved A.I.! Even the last hour!
Personally, I'm certainly not trying to win both sides of anything. I'd just like to see a world in which humans and robots can work together to solve each other's problems. And I believe that this will involve quite a bit of SCIENCE!
As I've said before, vote your heart. Good on ya.
Yes... but you seem hostile to the idea of robotic sentience, which would be important in making them full partners to SCIENT!ific research.
Sock puppet it is.
I certainly DO NOT vote for anyone who willingly claims to love A.I., and especially the last hour.
FAIL.
As I've said, vote your heart.
As for A.I. and its long and unnecessary last hour, I grant you, ms. one, there is much to be desired. I'm not Spielberg's biggest fan, but in spite of its deficiencies, the film really captivated me because of the ideas that it explored, for which I'm grateful.
And I'm a fan of the Pinnochio story.
Yes, "thanks Stanley, now that you're dead, let me fill the void with some more over sentimental crap..."
My heart is so deadened by any reference to that gigantic wanker.
As probably the most pro-robot member of the Senate, I believe that we need good candidates in order to move important research forward. I believe that Lank has a reasonable stance, and will vote pro-robot for the near future. His strong support of science in general, and willingness to work with robots makes him an excellent candidate for furthering robot and general scientific development in the SF0 community.
His siding with humans against robots trying to enslave them is certainly understandable; however, I do not believe that this issue will come to a vote.
would the proper term be SCIENCE!rrific ?
I wish to challenge your stances not only on broccoli, but also on posing as Steve Martin:
In our current climate of global food crisis, I firmly believe that the solution for broccoli lies in its distribution. Clearly there are those for whom broccoli is intolerable. Why not then re-distribute broccoli away from these people, and toward those who are hungry or who actually enjoy the presence of broccoli? Not only does this put broccoli where it is most needed, but it also creates new jobs in the field of broccoli re-distribution. A win-win situation, if you ask me.
As for the Steve Martin thing, it's not a pose. That just happens. Pennies from Heaven, anyone?
WHAT!?!?!?!
in your initial statement, you said "I will fight for .... abolishing broccoli"
However in that last statement, it seems that you support the broccoli industry.
Do you plan on having your cake and eating it too?
See? This is what I'm on about. Eating cake and having it too.
I'd like to report that I just ate some delicious cake, and there is more left over. So yes, I have my cake and eat it too.
I'd also like to thank all of those who have sent me such warm birfday wishes. I'm proud to serve this wonderfully supportive community.
It's like little trees.
Like little devil trees. DEVILS.
Lank, you rock the Senatorial Side-Part. For that I vote.
My favorite is the Lank is Fun picture
[insert witty comment here], but none the less, I can't bring myself not to vote for Lank.
Vote for your excellent stances on brocolli (an excellent compromise which I would enjoy seeing implmented), robot domination and fun.
And for the slide photo.
Lank for senate!
it seems you've been causing some trouble in iraq. do you have anything to say in your defense?
If by "causing some trouble", you mean, "working towards a peaceable end to our conflict and bringing our troops home safely", then yes, I have. With a capital "T".
Plus, I suspect this is a doctored picture. Hussein was not that tall.
If you were able to see below where the above photo has been cropped, you would note that my stance indicates that I am about to "bitch slap" Mr. Cheney, who is a declared foe of mine.
Also, he is standing on an apple box or crate, because Cheney is not that tall.
Dear Lank,
I like the cut of your jib. I mean jaw. Like, you look almost presidential. However, I have some concerns. First: what say you to the accusation that this is a parody of Spidere's campaign? We in MN0 require creativity and originality, the creativity and originality that you are known for but have not demonstrated here... where is that singularity we know and love?
Love,
Inky
Dear Inky,
Your concerns are valid, and thank you for the jaw compliment.
It must be conceded that Senator Spidere's campaign has been the most successful to date, and I laud his dynamic and austere approach. I shudder to think that my own campaign could be considered parody, but am proud to think that it may smack of homage. Instances: We both wear suits, take pictures in front of government buildings and with political figures and infants, and (notably) neither of us has engaged in the vicious mud-slinging that has been the tactic of previous campaigns. It would be wrong-headed of me to fly in the face of such obviously winning style simply for the sake of being different.
Further, I believe that, aside from the mud-slinging (which may come in time if certain opposition leaders fail to relent), I have completed this task to the letter of the instruction, and that I am the first to run for Senate who has actually been photographed, for this task, actually kissing a baby that is not mine.
I venture to you that the singularity of my campaign lies not in the context of the campaigns of other Senators and would-be Senators, but rather in the context of my own past completions (exhaustingly and nigh-all-inclusively linked in the text of my proof above). The sheer conventionality with which I approach my campaign is surely a break from my "usual" outside-the-box tasking, and is therefore a bold step away from personal tradition. Only for this task would I wear my hair in that awful fashion, shave my face bare, wear a suit with a terrible tie in public, and engage in such shameless self-promotion as you see here. Surely, the difference lies here.
Dear Senator Lank,
Convincing.
Happy Birthday. Mine is on Saturday.
Love,
Inky
Lank,
Sock puppet voting is a plague on our community. How do you feel about accepting votes from sock puppets?
Sincerely,
Spidere
Dear Senator,
The sock puppet issue is one that I take seriously. We've all seen evidence of the slippery slope to which sock puppet voting can lead.
I have two answers to your question. First, I must say that I mind it reprehensible for an individual to create multiple players and to use them to vote more than once for any given task. However, if an individual votes only once, and uses a sock puppet to do so, I support that individual's freedom to cast his or her vote in a way that is personally satisfactory to them. Hence, although I accept the vote from Doktor Harmon's obvious sock puppet, I am unwilling to now accept a vote from the Doktor himself. Also, it should be considered that rampant use of sock puppets may in fact constitute good tasking in the case of S.N.I.D.E. completions, given that the above issue is taken into account.
Also, given that such abuses do occur, I urge all players to remind themselves once in a while that SFØ is ultimately a game, and that none of us should be losing any sleep over it.
Unless you're staying up all night for a great task.
Worse than sockpuppet voting is sockpuppet flagging and (negative) comment voting. The potential for real harm through pranxterism (or real intended harm) is too great to be ignored any longer. Can you talk about how you'd like to see this plague handled?
First and third pictures are so much like a real, back-stabbing, corrupt politician.
Dear Adam,
Thank you for your support. Please know that the only corruption in which I partake is to encourage friends to indulge their vices. And the only "back-stabbing" in which I participate takes place very privately. Nudge nudge, wink wink.
Lank,
Quite possibly the best use of innuendo I have ever encountered.
I sure hope you aim better than "the back".
Lank,
Some of us find the sock puppets humorous and a positive contribution to the SF0 community, and would value a vote from a sock puppet most of all. How would you reconcile those parts of the community that are pro- vs anti-sock puppetry?
Also, where do you stand on the proposed policies of the Mayor of Claycord?
-Muffinbot
Also, where do you stand on the proposed policies of the Mayor of Claycord?
Julian, are you implying that you are against LAW and ORDER?
AND WHAT ABOUT
MARGIN BLANKS
WHAT DID HE EVER
DO TO YOU
Madam, I must say I find your implication that the good Mayor is a sock-puppet alarming. He is a fine gentleman of the sort on which my master and I would love an opportunity to perform experiments.
My fellow players,
I'd like to simply announce that I will not be online for the rest of the day and will therefore be unable to answer your questions in as timely a fashion as I would like. Today is my birthday, and I plan not to spend it online.
So in the spirit of going out into the world and enjoying yourself, I ask you to join me in...
Less typing, more tasking!
yes.
that alone gets my vote.
and if I may, mr. senator, happy birthday.
Skimming the praxis only looking at the pictures I nearly found myself voting because you looking so trustworthy and confident. However, I knew that it was my duty to read it and make an informed desision. I find thusly that I don't agree with your plicies and I will not be voting for you. Great campaign photos though!
PRO-ROBOT, AND YET ANTI-ROBOT INTELLIGENCE?
HAS MKII ROBOT MISUNDERSTOOD?
candidate:_lank_, PERHAPS WHEN YOU RETURN FROM YOUR BIRTH-DAY CELEBRATION YOU COULD PROVIDE CLARIFICATION.
Lank, you had me at the first picture. How could I not vote for somebody who looks that senatorial?
Proud to be vote No 25! Congratulations Senator Lank!
Thank you, one and all! I'm overwhelmed by your show of support and I am proud to join the ranks of the illustrious SFØ Senate. I only hope that I will be able to live up to the your expectations and provide you with the sound leadership and kick-ass tasking that this community deserves.
Thank you, SFØ!
Holy cow, yeah it was!
I think this might be a record.
Spidere won it in less than six hours?
Evenso it's still very impressive.
It's been 4,394 hours since I submitted my Campaign Trail. Just 2 votes away now.
I think 16 is probably better.
Oh, I hadn't noticed that this was posted yesterday.
Dearest Forgetful,
Hate to tute my own horn here but I believe I actually have the record with 3 hours.
Which is also a record for most sockpuppets made in a three hour period.
Still haven't gotten that badge yet.
Hmmmm…
~Shalaco
P.S. down there on the thread below me… I wouldn't say verbose but man these comment threads sure have gotten wordy. What gives. Down with comments up with tasking.
Do you all remember back when i was campaigning last year? Wow, everyone bitched about all the words (often with good reason). But this task is a great example: for all the bemoaning long proofs, commenting (and added comment complexity) has sure made us awfully verbose! Who has time to read all these long comment strings?
You look rather vile and slippery in that necktie, there.
Sir, what is your stance on cakes?
Thank you,
DDVoo
I prefer not to stand on cakes in any position. I prefer that cakes be in my belly.
There is cake in my belly now. Mmmm...
Pinned to the actual walls of my heart. Kinda hurt, but it was worth it.
Congratulations Senator Lank, I look forward to some epic leadership.
That's something I can get behind. Make it extra heavy, eh.
vote for the imbedded Rick Roll video!
Oh and the Senate thing.
I second that motion.
WAIT HOLY SHITE WAS THAT SENATOR OBAMA DANCING PARKOUR >> ?!?!?!?! ZOMG
You late addition to the race obviously was a clever ploy to avoid the controversial and often campaign derailing question about ones stance on a certain green vegetable.
Well played sir. Well played.
So I put it to you now, the masses must know, your stance must be made public.
What do you think about broccoli?
Personally, I think it's not bad, but I can do without it. Besides, it's not meat. (But I continue to stand by my idea for broccoli re-distribution as a practical and easily-realizable plan to deal with the broccoli dispute in the immediate future.)
Tell you what: if anti-broccoli legislation crosses my desk, and it carries with it a sound reasoning behind the proposed benefits of a ban on broccoli, I may be persuaded to vote anti-broccoli.
Plus, I ask you, my constituency, to put my feelings about broccoli to the test by choosing an existing task for me to complete in a way that must involve an intense and studied encounter with broccoli. Alternatively, suggest a new task that achieves the same end. Either way, make a comment here with your suggestion. I will choose the most comment-voted-upon task suggestion and complete it.
Perhaps this? Or this?
Also, please remember that May 25th is almost upon us again!
Oh dear lord. May 25th already? What are we to do.
I would say that a broccoli bath would be finest option imaginable.
Notice my red right hand in this photo. Yes, I like Nick Cave.
Not so much, now that it's healed up and the swelling's gone down. I do, however, have a gypsy uncle.
This campaign must be fallacious since there is an obviously forged photograph of my grave.
It reminds me of a time when I knew a young attractive woman. She was a little tart. Loved to be the center of attention. She was always flaunting her body. Funny thing, though. Despite her wholly American heritage she was often pursued by an old educated wise woman. This wise woman was savvy in the ways of sciences and would occasionally burst out into monologues of Latvian. The wise woman would always gaze upon photos of the little tart and comment in her odd lustful ways.
Well, I suppose this Lank fellow is alright at a politician. But I wonder what sort of Emperor he would make.
WOULD NOT player: _joshuaabrahamnorton_ BE CONCERNED ABOUT AN IMPERIAL RIVALRY? HOW WOULD THIS BE HANDLED?
Lank -- I challenge you to public debate on the interweb to be televised live, recorded, and posted on Dressing Gown Appreciation Day.
Will you address the issues that SF0 brings forward in a live forum?
Will you answer questions, and driving issues that impact and inform the lives of taskers?
I await your response while I make jello with little oranges for my children.
What's your policy on robots?