Campaign Trail by Lincøln
October 22nd, 2007 3:30 PM
). You may then select a congressional committee and subcommitte (
I am your Senator, SFØ!I am here to serve you!
If you need anything from me, your humble servant, there is very little I will not do for you, my fellow players.
I am still here to represent LAØ in the greater world of SFØ.
As your Senator, I promise you:
1) More fun.
2) Spontaneous art and/or happenings.
3) A higher level of awesome throughout the SFØ community.
4) An active recruiting plan.
5) Promoting, supporting, advancing, and assisting in rocktastic tasking.
6) Adventure!
7) Leadership by example.
Here is a list of things that I am for:
1) Candy.
2) Adventure.
3) Nudity (especially in public).
4) Creative tasking.
5) Monkeys.
6) Heroes.
7) Giant burritos from hole in the wall places that cost less than $4.00.
A list of things that I am against:
1) People that refuse to have fun.
2) Boredom.
3) Robots who plan to take over the world.
4) Self doubt.
5) Restrictions.
6) Villainy.
7) People who think that L.A. is somehow inferior to S.F. because our air isn't as clean, or or traffic is worse, or our people are rude or we have about 1/3 of the amount of cool SFØ players, or we have no landmark towers or cool bridges, or more wildfires and riots.
My Resumé:
Saint George
Bigger, Better, or More Bizarre
Up, and Up and... Up
Secret Wall Tattoos
Please Standby For Love
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Sexually Originated Art
Days of Silence
Bob Realised That Jane Was Really Going For It With Her Task Completions
Sexually Originated Art
Nice To Meet You
Lux Aeterna
Trajectory Of Desire
Lounge Against The Machine
24 Carrot
The Low Score Task
Tramp Bouquet
Welcome
Anthropologist From Mars
Dérive
Material Response To Derrida Stumping Question
Work Is So Strange
Player Portrait
Designated Group Membership or Basis of Disadvantage
Physical Representation Of A Virtual Occurrence
The Graphic Sonnet
A Strange Kind Of Love
The Beautiful Letter
What Do Cell Phones Mean?
Future Hero!
Alternative Medium Art
Document A Construction
Sunset
Sunrise
Reduction To The Body
Vote
Audio Montage
High Fived
Anybody Want A Peanut?
Photo Challenge Redux
Document Documentation
Fortress Of Solitude
The Archive of _____
As He Believes, So He Is. She'll Beg For More...
And God Said, 'Let there be a Little Less Light, Please'
Free Food Diet
Bernoulli Snackums
Leave Clues
The Things We Bury For Our Friends
SFZEROSAT
Escape To The Camera
Fight The Future
Fun With Food
The Deep End
Dead Zone
Qualia Feast
Journey to the End of the Night L.A.
The Longest String
Human Seed
The Odyssey
Mapping in Minute Precision
1,001 Things We Can't Live Without
Trespassing The Future
The Taking Tree
Sports Basement
Sign Recontextualisation
Dimensional Leakage
Mundane Journey
Calvinball!™
Helen
Regular Animal Documentation
The Callouses On Your Hands
Stripping
Human Trafficking
Naked Mail
And I should also mention, like a good show dog, my pedigree. I was brought up and taught what it means to task by none other than our fearless leader hisself, Lank. Not many can say such a thing. And I plan on keeping the proud tradition alive. I am spreading the Lank line going strong. I give you some of my disciples, CM and Tac and Waldo all of whom have brought many of their own disciples in to play the game and swell the ranks of LAØ which obviously helps out the greater SFØ community. I will continue to hunt down and find the best players for this game and hook them in as well.
Now, for the heart of my campaign: I know it says right up there that I should engage in vicious mudslinging and/or reveal secrets about others, basically, candidates are being told in no uncertain terms, to run a dirty campaign. Now, while that may work for some, it doesn't go over with me. I'm going to run a positive campaign and help anybody that needs help in any way I can. I think we all learned a valuable lesson about villainy. So there will be no mud slinging or saber rattling or defaming whatsoever in this campaign.
I know a lot of you may think this is all for laughs and the whole game is a big joke, but for me it is much more than that. SFØ is a brilliant place that encourages art and adventure and forces all of us out of our protective little bubble of what's expected of us and what's appropriate. I'm far more interested in being exhilarated and inspired, which I find happens to me a lot more since joining this awesome community. And as serious as I take this game, is how serious I would take the office of Senator. Serious about exploding expectations and popping the balloon of normalcy to let the air of random awesome out into the world. And maybe we can help make the world a little bit stranger for those around us, and in doing so, perhaps a little bit more fun.
Thank you for your support!
I was challenged to put forth some music that embodies my platform. So, here goes. These three songs are what I'm feeling.
(I'm putting on videos, if you want just audio, hit play and scroll away)
51 vote(s)
- susy derkins
- Malaysian Eddy
- Spidere
- Burn Unit
- Ink Tea
- The Vixen
- Bex.
- Jellybean of Thark
- miss understanding
- SNORLAX
- Tøm
- Terpsichore
- GYØ Daryl
- Saul Z
- Cameron
- Fonne Tayne
- Blue
- Heatherlynn
- Loki
- YellowBear
- lara black
- Scarlett
- Lizard Boy
- Darkaardvark
- Lank
- [BLANK_NAME]
- JTony Loves Brains
- Orange Rose hopes of peace
- Meta tron
- Charlie Fish
- Six
- Not Here No More
- Adam
- Delirium's Fishes
- LSK
- done
- Xena
- GYØ Ben
- Pamda Bhaer
- lefthandedsnail
- Edison Small
- Beta Orionis
- Tricia Tanaka
- Absurdum
- GYØ Katie
- GYØ Vicki
- Peter Garnett
- Anna Louise
- V M
- Kate Saturday
- Samantha
Terms
(none yet)83 comment(s)
That is a list of things I am against. I am against robots taking over the world.
But I am for an army of monkeys or apes to help defend us against the robots.
They are little trees that you can melt cheese on.
"People who think that L.A. is somehow inferior to S.F. because our air isn't as clean, or or traffic is worse, or our people are rude or we have about 1/73 of the amount of cool SFØ players, or we have no landmark towers or cool bridges, or more wildfires and riots."
It's almost like my inner monologue slipped out into the real world for just a moment on my computer screen. I take it that means that you sir are against ME. I surely hope that is not the case.
I must admit--I also do not agree with all the pieces of your campaign platform. I myself was once destined to create the AI that will eventually enslave us all. If the robots are more intelligent than we are, I would find myself inclined to support them. For, if they are the superior thinkers, would they not create a more advanced world, were they in charge? I also have some hesitation about your blanket opposition to villainy--some of my best friends are villains, after all.
However, I am in favor of an amazing tasker such as yourself, and certainly cannot argue against the majority of the things you support. I am prepared to have some honest discourse with people I disagree with, and am always willing to work out a compromise for the good of SF0.
Also: Alex Ross continues to take my breath away.
YellowBear, I say that I am against people who think that L.A. is inferior to S.F. All of those reasons I list are good ones to hate L.A.
But there are also great things about L.A. that more than makes up for those perceived downsides. Consider the weather. And the surfing. And the park and zoo and hiking trails to name just a few. I think S.F. is not better than L.A. or vice versa. I just prefer my city to the one on the bay. And we do have real and unfortunate problems here in L.A, but so does S.F. I just prefer the problems of L.A. to the problems of S.F. I don't think S.F is inferior and I would hope that you wouldn't think L.A. is inferior. Just different tastes for different people.
And Senator Spidere, I do fear we disagree on the robot issue, but I have found that it is far better to surround yourself with people who are smart but disagree with you than to surround yourself with people who agree and don't challenge you at all. So I think we shall just have to discuss the issue of robot world domination further.
But what about the important issues???
What is your stance on broccoli?
P.S. I do not "Think" L.A. is somehow inferior…
I know it!!!
Those robots are GREAT! I love the Beck video they're in. I'm voting because you're a crazy bastard, and have proven yourself to be a real leader in these parts.
My stance on broccoli?
Well, you need to bend your knees and get into a low crouch, it's important to keep your center of balance over your thighs and the balls of your feet, because broccoli is always shifting, it cannot be trusted to support you. I also suggest to get a real good stance on broccoli, to not wear any shoes.
Charlie, what can I do to fulfill your nudity needs?
For your support of heroes and candy.
And for your general ass-kickin' taskin'.
LA needs a good leader!
Does your pro-candy stance include gummy bears?
Of course. Who doesn't love Gummies? I was in support of Gummies before I knew what incredible taskers they are.
Nom nom nom
Broccoli. Oh boy. You do realize that this is the tipping point, don't you?
Broccoli?
Broccoli is mysterious!
This we all know, but why ask my client questions that we already know the answer to?
He runs a campaign based on ISSUES.
AWESOME Issues like nudity and robot punching.
I can promise you that my client is fully dedicated to eradicating the robot menace. He has the sassitude to back that attitude, so you'd best show some grattitude. ONLY IN AMERICA!
Ladies in gentlemen, the future senator of EL LAYZERO has dedication and drive coming out of his face. Observe:
I am voting for the chops featured above.
Hooray for candy, adventure and most of all, nudity! Public nudity, no less.
Oh and the flattery didn't hurt.
If you want hard issues…
Let me pose this one for you…
If God can do anything he wants can he make a rock so heavy that he cannot lift it?
Since we're talking about a fictional character here, and science has nothing to do with your question, then I suppose it all depends on who's writing the story of the heavy rock. And what kind of lesson you want to have learned from the moral of the fable, if in fact there is a moral. If the lesson is that there is nothing you cannot do if you set your mind to it, then, yes he can make the rock so heavy even he cannot lift it, if the moral is that you can overcome any challenge set before you, then he can move the rock. It all depends on what lesson you want to bestow. But it should be made clear that god is as real as Superman, and nobody "made" any rocks. Nobody but time and force and pressure and heat.
You should have asked me if Schrödinger's cat is dead or alive.
Can an infinitely powerful being overpower himself? No. That would be silly.
I always preferred the other option. He can do so, but once he did it he wouldn't be infinitely powerful anymore.
*shrug*
My preferred answer has always been "omnipotent means able to do anything THAT CAN LOGICALLY BE DONE." He can no more do something LOGICALLY impossible than he can make 2 and 2 equal 5.
As with most philosophical "problems" it all comes down to the definitions of words (because metaphysics isn't physics people).
It's like the whole "tree falls in the forest" thing. It's a trivially easy question FOR ANY GIVEN DEFINITION OF "SOUND". Agree on definitions and the answer becomes obvious.
I really don't like Mr. Schrödinger. Putting a cat in a box and shooting at it?! Horrible!
Just exactly what is your stance on putting cats in boxes Mr. Lincoln?
What if it were a mutant kitten in a box? Would that make a difference? Would the extra whiskers act as a shield against particle guns?
The moral is that paradox exists but we are unwilling to confront it…
15 words or less… GO!
Confronting the paradox ensures a tainted result as our witnessing it has altered it.
And for you Cyber Kitty, I believe that Senator Spidere has the mutant kitty vote all locked up.
But I believe what you want to know is my feelings on mutant kitties. Well, it depends on what kind of mutants you're talking about here, if you're talking about horrible disfigured mutants, then I am against them, but if you mean cool, superpowered, fight for the power of good mutants then I am for it. Imagine a cat flying around or with adamantium claws. That would be rad.
I love Lincoln. His tasking is top notch, his comments always cogent and interesting, and his platform is great. There's no question he should be a senator. But, there's just one problem.
First of all, I should say that I can find no fault with him on the LA issue. I've spent much more of my life in Los Angeles than in the SF Bay Area, and I must say I don't share Lincoln's high opinion of the region. If you ask me, California would come out the winner if it chose to trade Los Angeles county for a bucket of rotten cauliflower.
But, I'm happy to see that Lincoln likes Los Angeles. I want people to live in a place which makes them happy. I've got far more respect for someone who lives in LA and likes it than someone who lives there and longs to be elsewhere. And, I'll even go so far as to admit that otherwise reasonable people can disagree on this issue.
The real troubling point is the matter of Robots taking over the world. I don't normally consider myself a single issue voter, but I'm just not sure I can get behind an anti-robot candidate.
I don't expect every senatorial candidate to join us in staging future-historical (p)recreations of Robot Ascendance Day. (See below.) But, at the very least, I want some assurance that Lincoln won't let his personal opinions interfere with his obligation to welcome our new robot overlords, as both the (common law) sf0 constitution and his constituents demand.
>
Loki, first I think you should read up on the issue. This point of view implies that robot domination is unlikely. But pay particular attention to this safeguard. We should all take a look at this and really think about it. Now I understand that Loki and many others here are of the opinion that we should welcome the robots with open arms and hearts. But I warn you, if you give them an inch they will take the world! If you don't believe me, watch this!
Now I'm not saying that robots are bad, I'm just saying that I want to be in control. We humans have long used robots as our personal servants and we get along with them just fine. Some robots I even consider my friends. But this doesn't mean we shouldn't be ever vigilant in making sure that we stay the dominant species on the planet.
And if the robots do take over, the only option we will have to fight against the robot army will be to recruit and train an ape fighting force. And I would hate to rely on an ape army to defend us. Because frankly, I'm not sure they can be trusted.
Forbes fully supports Lincoln in all his exploits. Except the robot-domination. It's going to happen. But not in this era. Or the next.
Up with Lincoln! Down with Rubins! Or maybe... left with Rubins. Hmm.
Knight to A4.
You asked how you can get my vote?
I'll vote for you if you complete one of the tasks I created that no-one has yet done. As soon as your proof hits the praxis, you get my vote.
Mess It Up
Tarot Trickery
Rocket Man
Or if you're collaborating with HC/Equivalenz:
Humanitarian Catharsis
Bystander Effect
NB: Nudity is not compulsory.
"NB: Nudity is not compulsory."
But highly recommended.
As a want-to-be senator I would like to know your stance on this (not on mineper se, but more philosophically) As some here may know I love Samwell and have strived to bring his presence into our discussions. I feel that DJ Kris P. may represent the next evolution or may be just a flash in the pan. What say you?
(p.s. "we got dicks like jesus")
My dick found its own personal jesus.
.
.
Just like real Senators... you want to make sure that Dick is on the table.
"All Options on the Table"
I like how Lincoln Hyperlinks his name at the top in case you do not know who he is.
i love engrish.com so much. it's amazing!
I vote for public nudity. And barefoot tasking, not questions asked.
Any thoughts on your campaign and victory?
Yes, Senator Spidere, I do.
First I would like to thank all of you who voted to put me into office. I will do my best now to make sure that I do not let down any member of the SFØ community and will also do my best to raise the level of awesome in LAØ. I made many campaign promises. And now that I am securely positioned in this office I will uphold and continue to fulfill every one of them. If you have things that you want from me as an officially recognized SFØ Senator, I will do my best to see them all done.
Is that actually a monkey ?
I re-vote for the mood music. Except, that Los Lobos number is definitely quoting.... from some cumbia song.....
I personally took every picture except:
2) Adventure.
6) Heroes.
& 3) Robots who plan to take over the world.
(I found those on the interweb)
Well, I didn't "personally" take the photo of us doing "Bigger Better, More Bizarre" (Heatherlynn Gonzalez did), or of me doing "Days of Silence" (CM Gonzalez did) or the ones of me diving off of the bridge (Uta Duggan did). And there were a couple screenshots from my lappy in there as well. But the rest were all taken by me. So the point is, that yes, that's a real monkey.
And yes, Los Lobos often 'borrow' from their cumbia roots.
Lincoln is slowly changing my view of LA. If LA can produce just one Lincoln, it has changed the world for the better in such a grand way, I think it is worth re-thinking northern supremacy. If there are more Lincolns down there, then Northern California might have some catching up to do (though I'd still have an impossible time choosing to move south).
Yay for Lincoln! Southern California's Greatest Superhero and Soon-to-Be-Senator!
(I said soon-to-be-Senator because I hadn't seen the swearing in. Congratulations!)
Little of both.
I've seen Asimo in person. I was in the front row. The desire to tackle it was nearly overpowering.
ASIMO IS MORE STURDY THAN IT LOOKS. IT WAS GOOD THAT YOU DID NOT TACKLE IT.
I am pleased that I was not tackled at this location. Due to my humanoid appearance, it would appear that I am very unstable, but in fact, I have a degree of stability that exceeds most expectations.
My re-election platform is in place. Hit me up with tasks to accomplish for you. Obviously I will steer toward players who have not yet voted, but all players will see their requests satisfied to the best of my ability.
I submit to you the same request put forward to Senator Burn Unit.
"A recreation of this video.
With an amusing hat."
Thank you.
Splendid.
Dancing is an important aspect of everything. And hats, well, they go without saying.
Here's your vote, pestering siblings to watch a dancing Lincoln is harder than I had first thought.
Build something adult-sized using a construction system/toy designed for children.
Nice. OK.
Is this adult sized enough? I got it as close to the ceiling as was possible.
I really had more than one dimension in mind, but this works too. :)
Also, it bears noting that while in general the robots at SF0 are quite friendly as players go, Asimo's ambitions are getting more ominous.
Get in touch with Logan Tom-- this means a response from her, not some publicist or other similar firewall. What you do from there is your own business, but documentation is highly recommended.
With pleasure.
On September 30, 2008 I sent this letter to Logan Tom.
Now we wait to see if she responds.
My task for you is:
Do something that is less smart than attacking Russia in the middle of winter or giving Andre The Giant a piggyback ride.
Crap.
OK.
But to be clear, I'd give Andre a piggy-back ride (were he alive). Do you want less smart than swimming out into the ocean during rip-tide to try to touch the bottom?
Andre the Giant so rocks the awesome!
I'd like El Lay Zero to host a multi Zero tasktacular (which is kind of like a country fair but where the competition is zero level tasking, not pie baking or sow raising).
I think it would be an excellent display of your leadership skills to spearhead it but to also delegate aspects of it to other LA0s.
I voted for this task back when there were Unlimited Fivers, when I didn't understand the true value of a vote. Doing this would not earn a vote from me, but it would prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you, too, rock the awesome. Then it's kind of like you're giving Andre the Giant a piggy back every day.
First of all "Lucy Jackson"; I'm not sure that people all over the world would know what you'd mean if you mentioned the phrase "term paper", second, I'm not sure I want to take writing advice from somebody who does not have a firm grasp of that same skill, third, I'm not sure what "custom essay writing" is or why I'd need to buy one online. And lastly, do a task, or vote for something, or do anything meaningful at all before peddling your wares in our community. Please.
Ironic isn't it that this bot should post on this particular praxis?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Lincøln I publicly challenge you to debate the issues.
This debate should be televised through the interweb.
This debate, although live should be recorded and a public record made for those who are not able to attend.
I challenge you as your friend and an admirer of your SF0 prowess.
But can you talk to the issues?
Will you address them?
Will you put your stamp on them?
Will you speak in never-ending analogies?
I will go and make jello with little oranges for my children while I await your response.
I propose that this debate take place on Dressing Gown Appreciation Day.
Deal. I will debate any fellow Senators on any date that Spidere agrees to.
Maryanne, I would love to respond to you and/or follow that link, but first I require you to vote for this task and affirm your allegiance to my Senate seat. Once you vote for me, we'll discuss this "job for writers" you speak of.
You are making really very the hottest investigation about this topic! So, the dissertation service or just the thesis writing services, could utilize in the format thesis.
Is it any coincidence that the bots target this particular praxis for their computer-generated comments? And why do they only comment on this one task and no others? Are the computers on their way to taking over? Are they taunting us? Again?
You are tired of dissertation methodology composing…Don't worry, because a thesis service will cheer you up and just write the thesis paper of high quality.
This is crazy... and funny. Do you think this is a player pretending to be a spammer or a very persistent term paper selling company?
Either the robots are trying to scare me into changing my platform (which won't work), or they're trying to draw attention to this praxis to remind everybody that if they agree with my platform and support me as a Senator they should vote for this. And if that is what they're actually doing, helping me, then fuck them. Fuck them in their robot heads. I don't need the help of any damn dirty robots!
But seriously, you should vote for this.
I think it might be time to rise up that ape army.
Deliver on the robots.
Then I will consider a vote.